In need of advice from the experts here, a Q&A, translated…
Q: My Husband’s Been Having His Affair for Year on End, and I Don’t Have the Courage to Leave Him
Mrs. X had been married to her husband for over ten years, at the same time, her husband had had an affair with the woman who lived next door to them for ten years too. The first few years right after her husband cheated on her, X found out, she’d said she wanted to divorce, but, her husband kept coaxing her, and, each and every time X would get softened down, and started, basking in her husband’s sweetened lies. But, her husband never stopped having his affair with the woman next door.
X is in pain, felt that there’s a huge rock pressing down on her every single day as she lived. She said, that her husband used to be a very honest man, but these couple of years, it’s like, he’s become, this totally different person, his heart is elsewhere now. X wanted me to give her some encouragements, so she can work up the courage to leave her husband.
not my photo…
A My Advice
X’s letter was very brief, with just a few short lines. I don’t know if the woman next door, with whom her husband was having an affair with is married or not? Or whether if she has a husband and children? And, is this something that everybody knows about, or, are there only, limited number of people who know about this affair? And, if the other woman is married, then, does he know that she’s having an affair with X’s husband?
And, seeing how this affair had lasted, ten years continuously, X’s husband clearly had NO intentions of ending it, so, I would imagine, that X’s expectations toward her husband AND her marriage, are both, broken up. I wanted to remind X on a few things: she knew about her husband’s affair for over six months, but couldn’t sue him for adultery. If they shared a property together, she can hire a divorce attorney to fight for a divorce, there are, so many tips in this, that she can discuss with her attorney.
For a wife who’d put up with it all like X, I want to tell her, that her husband probably no longer loved her, the spare is his favorite now. A man who really loves his wife, wouldn’t hurt the woman he loved for this long a time. X should really look at the facts, for the sake of her very long future, as well as her kids’ life (she probably has them), and get the child support, and just, ready herself, to fight this unquittable divorce battle of hers.
not my photo…
You’d needed to be practically AND psychologically prepared for the divorce. There’s a matter of a salvageable and a nonsalvageable marriage, and, the key to that is, would the husband turn back around, and love just his wife? Can the spare let go? And, how long can you, keep on, ignoring your pride? Think it over, otherwise, you can’t not only fight your divorce battle, your husband will get worse toward you.
I truly hope, that this advice can prove to be helpful for X.
So, this, is a woman, who’s scared of divorcing her cheating husband, and, clearly, this man has NO intentions of leaving his WHORE ever, after all, why would he? His wife tolerated him for having his affair that got started TEN years ago, and, this LOSER is counting on just that, that his wife won’t fight him, but, writing this letter to ask for advice, is her FIRST step to her own, taking her marriage into HER own hands!
Life, the Obstacle Course 