With a demented elderly at home, it’s never easy, but, we all still, learn to cope with the various situations that surface from day to day, translated…
Since my mother-in-law passed, my father-in-law had been, living alone in their home, for twelve years on end.
My mother-in-law understood that my father-in-law didn’t like living with us, so, in her final days, battling cancer, she’d managed to teach him how to live on his own, like how to cook his own three meals, how to do the laundry, etc., etc., etc.; as for us we’re, more than grateful toward her.
like this, to remind the elderly the things that he used to be familiar with? Not my photograph…
Every Sunday, my husband and I would make our scheduled trip home to accompany my father-in-law, to have teas with him, and help clean up his living environment, after lunch, we’d, waited until my father-in-law woke from his nap, then, I’d, gone home with my husband.
At the start of May, my father-in-law slipped in the shower, and was hospitalized for fifteen days, he could no longer look after himself now, and needed someone close by at all times, and, after he was discharged, at our insistence, he’d, moved in with us.
During which time, my father-in-law started showing signs of difficulties walking, tremors in his hands, and drooling, we’d taken him to the hospitals, where the doctors gave us the diagnosis of Parkinson’s. My father-in-law’s health worsened, his mind deteriorated quite fast, and, we were, hit, very hard.
My father-in-law would get up and wander off in the middle of the nights, he doesn’t rest during the daytime, to the point that he hadn’t, slept, in three days, and told us he wanted to go out, plus, with caretaking getting harder and harder, and harder by the days, we were all, very strained.
There would be, different crises at home every single day, for instance, my father-in-law would be reminded of my mother-in-law so suddenly, and asked us where she’d gone to? In order to calm him down, we’d told her, that the kids took her on a trip, and won’t be back for a few days. And, even as he’d ranted on how he wanted to go back home, we’d pretended to call up the cab depot, and pretended we can’t get a cab, that we shall take him home once a cab becomes available. Whatever I can do, to soothe my father-in-law, I’d told those, little white lies, every single day now.
in need of his family’s love and support, now, more so than ever…photo from online…
My father-in-law forgets more and more by the day, recently, I’d noted, how he’d no longer called me by my name, and, I’d asked him if he knew who I was? He’d replied, “I don’t know!”, turns out, he’d, forgotten me, who’d become, his primary caretaker too.
Money, is the only thing that my father-in-law still remembered. Perhaps, the elders needed to have money on them, in order, to feel secure. I’d heard relatives with similar experiences told me, that they’d worried that the real money might be lost, and so, they’d, switched the money with the fake bills. Seeing how my father-in-law had, taken the money from his pocket before bath, then, putting his money back inside his pockets after we’d, bathed him, we’d found some sense of humor.
With an elderly with dementia at home, the caretakers needed to have a ton of patience, and love too, and the trials the primary caretakers weather through, nobody else can know it. We do what we can, in taking care of my demented father-in-law, day, after day, after day.
So, this, is how difficult it will get, with taking care of demented elderly, and, things won’t get easier one bit, because dementia will only worsen as time passes. But, with love, and patience, you would be able to, cope better.