Encounters with a predator in her teenage years, then again, as a grown woman, and apparently, what this OLD HORN dog did, didn’t IMPACT him as hard as it had his “victim”, translated…
The hikers came toward me, and greeted us good morning. Of the elderly walking with the canes, one of them had, stumped me. Before I’d turned, I’d looked at him through my peripheral vision, then, shifted my gaze back to the valleys.
This man, about eighty, with thinned out hair, the hairlines high, the small eyes hid, on his small face covered with the sun spots and the wrinkles. His necks tucked in, and his body looked just like forty years before, thin, with his white jumpsuit, dressed very cleanly, but, his face looked like a rat’s. I’d thought, if he was ten years older, even, twenty years, I’d still, recognized him. And yet, as we’d bumped shoulders, our eyes locked, and, he’d not looked surprised or anything, it seemed, that this elderly man didn’t, recognize me at all.putting oneself in a vulnerable position here, photo from online…
He’d once owned and operated a small dentist’s office in our small town, without the titles of a dentist. He was, an unlicensed dentist, and, it was, a public secret, that people without the proper licensure are practicing medicine.
The very first time I’d gone to the office, I was about fifteen, my wisdom tooth ached for a very long time, and my mother, busying at work, couldn’t take me, so I’d, gone there alone. As he’d treated me, he’d told me, that I had too many cavities, that it’s best, I have all my wisdom teeth pulled out. And so, he’d made the appointment for me the next morn, stressed that I should come in in the morning, so the bleeding won’t happen the whole day.
The very next morn, I’d arrived at the clinic, there was, no one there, and he’d told me to come upstairs. Nobody was around, there was, the four walls untouched up, gray, with just, an electric fan, and a worker’s chair, and an already, outdated, ready to get throw away dentist’s chair.
So, I lay down on the chair, and, I’d started panicking, like I was a pig, ready for slaughter. I’d, worked hard, keeping my mouth open wide, and, he’d given me an anesthetic on my gums, and after that instant pain, my gums felt, numbed, my lips too, and, I’d started, losing feeling over my entire cheeks. He’d hit mem with a chisel, to make sure that the anesthesia had kicked in, then, started, working at pulling out my tooth.
First, he’d pushed, then, dug deep, then, work hard, shaken my tooth, to loosen it, about half an hour, or, forty minutes passed, I’d guessed, and my tooth was, just beginning to start to budge. I’d felt, that my wisdom tooth, had caused him some hardships. And, after a long while, his hands seemed to be, trembling, with sweat, rolling down his forehead, actually, it wasn’t, that hot, and the fan was on too. The chisel continued, working in my mouth, with the suction tube, getting all the blood out, I really didn’t know how much blood I’d drunk in? I was so afraid, that I may, bleed out, and die on that chair. His hands, still trembling, the sweat kept rolling down. Then suddenly, I caught a reflection of my blouse, and realized, that perhaps, I was dressed, a bit, improperly, but no I wasn’t.
I’d, quickly, caught his gaze, and, focused on that orange glow of the light, and, some things from my past came back out.
One afternoon, I’d gone to meet a classmate in the afternoon, at the bus stations, to head up the mountains to work. I’d, surpassed the public restroom’s, a man walked up to me, with that dumbfounded gaze, suddenly, took out his penis, other than being thrilled by him, I’d, run quickly, into the crowds, another time, a drunk man was walking with his bicycle, his bike and he were both, unsteady too, he’d stopped, with that same look on his face.
Don’t know how long it took, I’d still trapped myself in these, uncomfortable memories, then suddenly, felt that the tweezer in my mouth got something. Then, a rotten tooth, was dangled in front of me. I’d felt, relieved, after I rinsed my mouth, I’d bitten down on the gauze, gotten off the treatment chair. At this time, he’d turned around to pick up the medication, then, he’d, suddenly turned toward me, hesitated a bit, then asked me, how large are your nipples? My heart was almost, falling down to the ground, I’d, suppressed my own, panic, asked him, why do you need to know. He said, he’d needed to get the meds, and that the meds needed to be the size of my nipples. I’d replied, what has it got to do with the size of my nipples? He’d fallen silent, and, looked at me with that awkwardness, and as he’d handed me the medication, he’d still, looked at me like that. I’d paid him, and rushed downstairs.
with the anesthesia kicking in, soon, you wobn’t, feel a thing…photo from online…
There were toys, scattered all over the kitchen floor on the other end of the clinic, a woman was cooking in front of the stove. I’d not gone toward the kitchen, nor did I have the intentions of retelling what had happened, just a minute ago.
All the way home, I’d, lost my weight, and seemingly, floated, all the way, home, without any hesitation, I’d, thrown the medication into the trash. In the evening, I’d told my mother this, she was shocked, and replied, what a horny old creep!, my mother was very weakened, and soft, after that, just like usual, she’d, started, preparing supper.
Over forty years later, I’d told my mother, I’d bumped into the man, and, apparently, she’d, forgotten what had happened, to me as a teen, so I’d told her again, and she’d had that same look of shock on her face, and repeated what she’d stated back then. Then, like it was back then, she’d, fallen, silent.
And so, perhaps, this woman was, waiting for her mother, to stand UP to protect her younger self, but the mother didn’t, and, this must’ve been an awful experience to have gone through, trusting your life into someone who’s, actually, a PREDATOR!