….Hitler burned books, ISIS destroyed statues and temples and here in America it looks like there is a growing sentiment to follow their example of destroying statues of people, events and history we do not like. I would like someone to explain to me how we can call what ISIS and Hitler did as an […]
The Actions of People Now, are Quite Similar, to Those of the People of the Pasts, Just Not in Exact Forms…
From a Chinese website of a man who was sexually molested and abused when he was a young child, translated by me…
This is the dream of a woman.
The woman arrived before a doorway. She’d knocked, and an elderly man answered, “You’re here!”
The elderly took out yards after yards of linen, wrapped the woman up, from head to toe, then, hung her upside down.
“This will take you forever!”
free from your former selves…not my artwork…
The cocoon made from linen was dark on the inside, the woman slowly felt, she was, becoming liquid inside the cocoon slowly.
There was a window inside the room, the elderly man sat by the window, watched the seasons change, for years and years on end.
And finally, the elderly, cut open the cocoon, finding a wet butterfly inside. The woman inquired, “Is it large, or small?”
“It’s big, AND small”, the elderly replied.
The elderly took the butterfly into a room with the sunlight shining through. The butterfly dried up its wings.
The elderly bore witness to the process of metamorphosis, the transformations. He’d told the butterfly, “Stop thinking about the past, or the future, just feel what you’re feeling right now.”
As the butterfly returned to the door it came in which was darkened, the elderly told her, “you can fly in any direction you wish, but, you must, live, in the midst of all of this.”
The butterfly soared into the skies, then, landed back on the ground. Slowly, the butterfly, turned, back into a woman again.
The woman felt, that butterfly, living inside of her.
(Rewritten from “Journey of Transformation”)
like this, not my photo…
Feel that sun shine. Feel your selves change, metamorphosing. Feel the freedom, that came, with this, long and slow process, as well as the powers you’d, gained.
The moment we take flight, we must, leave this, small, precious room, which precious things grew from, and soar towards freedom, as well as the, uncertainties, of this, vast world too.
In the wind and the rain, finding the blessings of life.
This, is the process of overcoming, of maturing, of becoming a whole new “being”, it’s a process of transformation, we all must, endure through, and no matter how difficult the process, once this process started, you will, NEVER be able to, turn back again, but why would you want to? You’re, leaving behind, the old you, and becoming this, brand new “being”, with the knowledge, the better understandings of who you are, and how you’d, become, who you are currently!
His Love for Her Became Revenge! Shoved Her into the Trunk of His Car and Told Her He Was Going to Kill Himself & Her Too
This still constitutes as??? A WRONG kind of L-O-V-E! From the Front Page Sections, translated…
A man, Lin had been on and off, on and off with his ex-girlfriend, Tsai, awhile ago, he’d found her to get into contact with the boyfriend she’d dated before him, he’d gotten jealous, and beaten Tsai up, then, stuffed her into the trunk, drove her to the public cemeteries, threatened that “We’re going to die together”; as the car sped onto the freeways, Tsai kicked open the trunk and started hollering for help, the police was notified, and chased after Lin, Lin dropped Tsai by the riverside of Jingmei, took the $40,000N.T. she had on her, then ran off. Two days ago, the police arrested Lin, and charged him with robbery and other charges.
The police investigated, that Lin (age 43) was recently fired from work, on the fifteenth, he’d hauled along two suitcases, and called up his ex, Tsai, to come pick him up to help him haul some things; on the evening at around five, the car passed Ai-San Road in Keelung, as Tsai went off the car to buy something, Lin saw there was flirtatious messages that she had with her ex-boyfriend, he’d gone, berserk, he’d beaten Tsai up bad, then, duct-taped Tsai’s wrists and ankles, shoved her into the trunk.
Lin took Tsai and her Maltese to the public cemetery in Keelung, threatened Tsai, “I’m going to die with you here, call your friends, to collect your corpse…”, and other threatening words. Later on, Lin called up a friend to Jingmei to talk it out, as he’d sped down the freeways, Tsai worked hard, kicked the tail lights off to get help; the car from behind saw the tail lights broken off, and tailgated Lin’s car, and Lin hollered out, “not your business!”, the driver from behind immediately notified the police.
Lin immediately exited off the ramp, and started pouring his heart out at his friend, the friend only saw that there was a dog in his car, but not discovered that Tsai was tied up in the trunk, and told him, “Don’t do anything stupid!”; in the end, Lin drove Tsai to a section of the Jingmei Riverbank to drop, after robbing her of the $40,000N.T. cash she was carrying, her identification, then, he drove to the Zhongyang Road in Hsintien, left the dog in the car, then, took a cab, to hide out in a motel in Taishan.
Tsai was bound by her limbs, stood by the side of the road, called out for help, the passersby saw and gave her a lift to the nearby Jingmei Police Subprecinct, the police filtered through the video footages, and two mornings ago, at six, arrested Lin at the motel; he’d claimed, “because I was short on cash, and was displeased at how Tsai was still in contact with her ex”, that, was why he’d, abducted her.
The police investigated, that Lin and Tsai were dating for eight months, during the time, they’d broken up, gotten back together, again, and again, Lin had beaten Tsai up multiple times; this time, Tsai was taken, she’d suffered injuries on her limbs, her face, Lin claimed, that he’d left the $40,000N.T. he’d robbed from Tsai was left on the cab, the police charged him with robbery, obstruction of freedom, and other charges, sent Lin into the Keelung District Attorney’s office yesterday.
So you’re displeased at how your EX-girlfriend had, started dating again, while you’re still, in misery, so, you thought of getting BACK at her, by taking her hostage, and robbing her, and, this, is how quickly, once love ended, things can turn really bad! When love became revenge, was what this was…
On hugging, the expressions of love with our bodily contact, translated…
The Reason Why They’re Angry, is Actually Due to How Defeated They’d Felt, of How Helpless They Feel, of Their Situations………
Those people who are hardest to love, usually, need the most love~~Dan Millman
“Don’t touch me!”, the child who’d kept her silent, screamed a high-pitched scream.
“Stay away from me! Can’t you understand Chinese?”, that eye that looked fierce, it’d made the mother who was only trying to find out how her daughter was doing draw back, with that look on her face, turned toward me.
After a few seconds of time, I’d had to, disregard the awkwardness in the air, I’d gotten up, patted the mother on her shoulders, “I’ll accompany him.”
Waited until there were, just the two of us in the room, I’d carried that mindset of, “I’m not trying to resolve anything”, got back into my seat, and, intentionally, sank my body into my seat, and told this kid who’s still in the heat of anger, “Do rest a bit, don’t get too worked up!”
Perhaps, I’m, one of those with bad tempers myself, I’d understood “these sorts of individuals don’t need to be tolerated, but to be understood”. And so, after we’d, rested for about a minute’s time, I’d found a few simple questions to ask him like, “Had you had your lunch yet?” “When did you go to bed last night?”, and, the conversation had, begun, without the child knowing. And, not long thereafter, the child started, pouring his heart out to me.
As we’d finished our sessions, I’d intentionally, patted this kid on the back, and, tried to show that I’d, “understood what he’d been going through lately”. Although, he’d still reacted, timidly, not replied back to me, but, the distances between the two of us, felt, shortened by quite a bit.
The Problem May Lie in the Lacking of Oxytocin
The psychologist, Harlow took the newborn Rhesus monkeys away from their mothers, then, designed for the baby monkeys, two “surrogate moms”: one made with steel wire, “the wire mom”, with the formulas coming from it; the other, with the surrogate mother, made from softer materials, the “velvety mom”. This well-known experiment found, that as the baby monkeys were hungry, they’d, gone to the “wire mom”, and, the rest of the time, they’d, hung onto the “velvety mom”. From this, we can conclude, that the feelings of comfort from the tactile sense, is so very important, to a living organism! So, those cases that screamed aloud, “Don’t touch me!”, they’d still, needed the cares and concerns from others. What made them angry, was actually was, how helpless they felt, of changing their conditions, they’d felt, defeated. Because they felt hurt, so, they’re, currently, in a state, of unable to trust anyone.
here’s the video of the study from Youtube…
The well-known writer, Simon Sinek in his book, “The Four primary chemicals that made us happy (E.D.S.O.) mentioned, “oxytocin can bring that feeling of security, and trust, making people feel loved……and, hugging, as well as other forms of bodily contact, can increase the productions of oxytocin in the body”. From this, it’s, easy to deduct, that children who were hugged often by their adult counterparts, will have a higher level of security, and would be, more able and willing to, venture out to make discoveries of the world. And, on the other end, the children who experiences long-term defeat as they asked for love, their bodies would have this protective mechanism, shutting down, for the sake, of protecting themselves.
It’s just, keeping that safe distance from others, this seemingly, protected the individual, but at the same times, it’d, deprived the individuals from the chances of bodily contact, and after periods of time, it’d caused the individual to feel insecure about the world, and having difficulties, establishing trust with others.
Back then, as I read about Harlow’s study, I’d told my mother, “maybe it was because I’d lived with my maternal grandmother growing up, so I wasn’t hugged enough by my parents, it’d caused………”, then the next day, my father told me, with that seriousness, “I can’t understand what you psych majors learned, but, back then, the times were, quite unstable, your grandfather never really hugged me either, so, I don’t know how to hug, and, look how well I’d turned out……..”
What’s interesting was, not long thereafter, as my mother was into taking some growth seminars, one day, she’d declared, that she’d needed to complete the homework assignment of “hugging my son”. And, based off of the normal filial piety beliefs, I’d, naturally, complied, but, my body stiffened up, as she’d, wrapped her arms around me.
I’d not known, if feeling easily awkward in a group has anything to do with not being hugged enough times as I was growing up, I just knew, that in the populated places, “my body just, don’t feel comfortable”, it’d, continually, stressed me out. This had, lasted until I graduated from my graduate studies, there was a period of time, when I’d gone, on schedule, with a group of foreign friends at a fast-food restaurant, “exchanging the language”, and, before we all said goodbye, they’d hugged each other, and, as a foreign friend opened up his arms towards me, I’d naturally, returned the hug back to him, at first, I’d felt, a bit, weird, but, I’d felt, bliss, from being able to hug someone. And, with the number of hug encounters increasing, I’d slowly felt, that “something that was lacking in my past” was, slowly, healing up.
What was more magical was, two years ago, when I went to a family function, as we’re about to say goodbye, I’d had that thought of, “hug in the now” flash across my mind, and I’d worked up the courage, and hugged my parents, for “two seconds”, then, for a long time afterwards, the bliss from that oxytocin rushed inside our bodies.
Meeting Socrates in the Depth of the Night, in a Gas Station
Many years ago, I’d, paid a tribute to the writer of “Way of the Peaceful Warrior”, Dan Millman. Reason why I worshipped the writer was because, through the writer’s character, a big boy, Dan”, having a conversation with the wise, “Socrates”, it’d made me realized, that “only through opening up my senses, making peace, with the multiple facets of myself, will I become, a warrior in life.”
Afterward, whenever I’d met a “screaming soul” in my office, I’d waited until the timing was right, and shared with them, the words from Dan Millman’s book, “Those who said hurtful words, are those who’d been hurt, and feared being hurt again.” I’d also reminded them, “The next time you wanted to scream out, ‘Don’t touch me!’, can you try saying, ‘I want to be alone for a while, thank you.’?”
It’d become, clearer to me by the day, that everyone has the responsibilities of “know oneself well”, and after that, can try to help others understand, that “getting mad wasn’t my intention”. And even IF the other person may not be receptive to that, at least, you’d, made peace with yourselves.
So, this, is an important lesson in psychology, but, because Asian people aren’t as open as people from the western worlds, that, is why, we normally, don’t get into hugging mode, besides, our grandparents never gotten into the habits of hugging our parents, so, how can we expect our parents to hug us regularly? But, our generation can, change that, by starting to hug our own young, changing the way that love is expressed to them, because we never received the kind of love in the forms of expressions we needed!
We are all, victims, of our own, circumstances. There’s, NO way ‘round it, we are all, affected, by our environmental stimuli, the things, happening in and around our lives, you may think, that hey, what does hunger in Africa has to do with me, but, you would get, affected, by something as distant as hunger in Africa, because we are, a social animal, we relate to others, based off of our own experiences in life.
We are all, victims, of our own, circumstances, that, is how it goes, and, there’s, NO way around it. We adapt ourselves, our behaviors, our emotional responses, to the feedbacks that we receive, from our external environment, and, judge ourselves, our own emotional responses as, good or bad, right, or wrong!
There’s, NO way, of snapping OUT of this vicious cycle of thought or belief, unless, you get to know yourselves, inside AND out, know what happened to you when you were younger, then, work through the broken pieces of your younger years, accept that those two primary attachment figures (still talkin’ ‘bout mommies and daddies here) hurt you, instead of, loved you like they were supposed to, and then, after you worked through ALL those former years of BULLSHIT you were put through, after you’d cried, a MILLION (‘cuz a thousand ain’t nowhere NEAR quite enough!) tears, then maybe, just MAYBE (nope, still NOT definite!!!), you will wake up, refreshed.
Victims, of our own circumstances, that, is what we’d, allowed our life’s many circumstances to take control over how we act, how we behave, how we feel, and, if we allowed the circumstances of our lives to rule us, then, the world will, GO to H-E-L-L!