Because they FAILED to establish that connection from earlier, that is why, they all became, more isolated after they retired, observations, translated…
The restaurant phoned my husband, to confirm the menu, I’d curiously inquired on what sort of a gathering it was? He said, “an old colleague had, asked me out.” After my husband retired, he’d opened up a scrivener office, although he’d often discussed the procedures with his clients, he was, also involved in the morning swimming crew and the Tai-chi club, but, he got along best, with his coworkers of twenty-five years.
After that gathering he’d come home, he’d described the interesting things he’d heard there, then, mentioned how his former coworkers had, asked him out to the sauna pools of Guguan. He said, that from before, they’d asked him out too, but, he’d, turned them down, I’d, encouraged him, to get reconnected with his former coworkers.
Seeing how actively my husband was interacting with his former coworkers, I’d recalled my father, who’d, lived like a lone wolf. The few years before he passed, I’d visited home, saw he took up that newspaper and read very closely, I’d asked, “are the newspapers really that interesting?” He’d smiled bitterly, “I have too much time on my hands, I’d read through all the wanted ads”. “You can go find some friends to chit chat.” But he’d told me, that after he’d moved, he got too busy at work, and had, disconnected, with the few little friends that he had from before.
male friendships, like this??? photo from online…
One evening, my father called me and complained, “You’re mother nagged me a total of twenty-one times today!”, I knew my mother minded that he’d loaned his hard earned money to a very persuasive man in the business, and not long thereafter, the man took the money my father loaned him, and disappeared, and, every time my mother thought about it, she’d always, grilled him for it. And I could only console with my father, “If she starts to nag, just go out for a walk.” But, my mother’s connecting regularly with the ladies in the neighborhood, had made my father feared, contacting the neighbors to chit chat.
I saw a Japanese soap, “The Taste of Pacific Saury”, the middle aged high school classmates at a reunion, showed care and concerns toward one another, and how they’d, made fun of each other, gotten along very well. Later I’d come to know, that this was, Japanese men’s way, of socializing with other men, but, because men in Taiwan followed the calls of “Dad needs to come home for supper after work”, after they’d left the office, most had, returned to the families.
this, is what shold be “established” beforehand…photo from online…
Later I’d observed something odd, there were, a lot of middle age women, who’d, gathered at restaurants, and on the busses or the MRTs I saw group of middle age women going out, how about the middle age men in Taiwan? Where, did they go to hide? Are their families, the only ones left, with whom they can, interact with?
No matter what era you’re from, there would be time when you feel most vulnerable, so, I’d, encouraged my husband who’s already middle aged, that when he couldn’t tell thing to me, he should, open up his heart, and, pour it out to his same sex best friends!
And so, this, is how isolated men became, after they retired, because they FAILED to keep up with connections from their earlier years, and so, they’d become, isolated at old age, when their wives start going out with their friends, they get, STUCK at home, talking to the walls, because they FAILED to socialize themselves when they still had the opportunities to!