Her means of training her own daughter, authoritative, allowing her daughter to test out the waters on her own, and be there for her own young, when she needs, translated…
Five years back I’d, quit my job, went back home, to stay with my children as they went through school, because I’d found, that in working as an afterschool program teacher, I’d, acquired the needed skills, whether it be helping them with homework, or counseling them, but, I’d not, saved enough time for my own daughter, and, everybody around me told me, “you’d given her all the time you have away from work, this is what most of us couldn’t achieve, is it, necessary, for you, to give up the work you love so much?”
Later, I’d replied, “because I can’t find an excellent afterschool program instructor like myself for my own daughter!”, then, after that, nobody says anything anymore. The day I quit, I’d told my own daughter, “from here on out, mom belongs to, only you!”
From her fourth grade year to her final year of middle school, everybody only saw the excellent grades she’d been making, and not seen how she’d worked hard, to achieve the good grades. I’d, accompanied her all the way, as she’d played coy with me, I’m the mommy who cherished her the most; when she worked hard in her studies, I’d, shifted gears into, a strict instructor, watching over her; when she has her days off, I could, go with her to go crazy in play. Even to this day, we’re, still the exact same. She is entering her first year of high school, and she’d not, longed for the freedoms like ordinary children when they are about to enter high school, she’d told those around her, “I’d always been, very free, just do what I’m supposed to, take responsibilities for what I ought to, my mom wouldn’t tell me what I can, or cannot do, I know where my own limits are, so she’d, trusted me.”
On the way to school she once told me, “Mom, you don’t have to worry about my teenage rebellion, I don’t have it.”, I think she does, it’s just, that when she is upset, or feel defeated, we’d always, accepted her feelings, and, gently, guided her through it, given her sound advice, and, all of her upsets, we’d handled, in a more, positive means, so, there’s no conflict between us as parents and child. Perhaps, it’s because I did something good in a past life, had me an angel, and, also, because we put everything into, teaching her about what is acceptable and what isn’t. I’d often told her, when you have the correct attitudes, everything goes as you wish, as you’d failed, it isn’t because you are unfortunate, but because you’d, not found the correct ways, or, you’d, gone beyond what you’re, capable of, let’s slow down a bit, and review over what you did, the next time you start up again, you will do much better than this past time. The correct forms of love, of guidance, too much of it, would NOT restrict the child, I hope, that she will carry mommy and daddy’s love, to find herself a patch of skies all her own!
And so, this, is how you can, raise, a good child, by setting the rules, by giving her the needed social, emotional support, to help her/him grow up strong, and trusting in your young, that they will, make the right decisions in their own lives, and, just be there, be supportive, when they need you.