Meditative retreat out of country, to find that lost serenity inside back again…translated…
Finally We’d Matched Our Vacation Days for Two Weeks, and, Flew, All the Way, to Norway……….
Driven, Purely, by Curiosity
During the lockdown, I’d started, sorting through my bookshelves, and, in the clamped set of file folders, I’d found a yellowed piece of newspaper article from Norway, and I was smiling in that photograph! Opening up the pages of the newspapers, there was a picture of us coworkers together, with me and my coworker, Yao grinning, ear to ear. Then, I drifted back, to that summer in 2007, when we’d gone to Norway to attend that international meditating summer camp.
Back then, I was the manager of the customer representative center of a major telecommunications company, spun around at work during the daytime, and, at night, I’d become, too stressed of needing to meet the sales quota that I couldn’t, sleep, my body was tightened, I’d felt dizzy, and there was that low humming, buzzing noise that came from my brain often too. And so, I’d gone to a meditation retreat set up by the company for the workers with my coworker. So why did I select the meditation seminars? Purely, I was, driven by curiosity, I’d heard the lecturer, a foreigner, spoke in perfect Chinese, he’d lectured on the Classic Chinese novel of “Dreams of the Red Mansion” in Oslo University, I’d become curious, as to how, with his background, how did he come to teach the methods of meditation, of combining our bodies with nature.
The method of meditation he taught was based off of western psychology theories, not related to religions, nor were we asked to sit cross-legged, this was, what attracted me to the course the most. In the lectures, we all sat in the chairs, with the backs supported by the chairs, and our legs, naturally, hung downwards. The methods to meditate was quite simple: using that relaxed means, recited that sound of meditation to ourselves, no need to intentionally, cause the distractive thoughts away. Mr. Ed told us, “the sound of meditation” was the meaningless mid-range sounds, we shouldn’t think too hard on it, but pulled us one by one to the podium, to make sure we’d understood this. He’d suggested that we practice this once, twice a day, with a thirty-minute sessions each, or, once per day for forty-five minutes.
At first in the group sessions, shortly after we’d begun, I’d heard my fellow classmates’ snores, and felt, that sleep attacking me, but I’d found it wasteful, that I’d, come to learn the skills, and fell asleep in class instead. But Mr. Ed told us it is okay if we fall asleep during the meditation, because it’s the needs of our bodies. I’d, awakened to myself, nodding off time and time again, and, the sound of my meditating switched around, I’d had to, adjust my body’s slanting away, and restart; and even so, meditation was like that deep rest I was in need of, and, I became, lively, filled with energies, and found the relaxation effects of meditation too.
illustration from UDN.com
After I’d started meditating on schedule for six months, I eagerly signed on for the “Arken International Meditating Summer Camp”, it was a that self-help trip that made me sign on that enticed me to it. Yao and I actively attended the meditation sessions, worked hard to prepare ourselves for the summer camp, like how you would train for a short period before a marathon, and yet, I’d worried, being rookies in meditation, would we, embarrass ourselves out of the country?
Our Bodies & Minds, Finally Found the Reliefs
Finally, we’d found a two week vacation time opening up, we’d, flown, all the way, to Norway; and, smelling the fresh air, seeing those forests of green daily, the lakes with the crystal clear water, surely, meditating in that sort of a peace and serenity, our bodies, and minds will surely, find their, relieves.
The camp was for a week, with the tight schedules, waking up in the morn, getting ourselves washed clean, we could take the strolls to the lakes, or hike up the hills, after breakfast at 8:30, we’d started on our own separate meditation retreats for four hours continuously, afterwards, lunch was, served; after a bit of rest, the instructor take the members of the team on a half-hour long meditation counseling session, I was paired up with Yao, and, our mentor was, Mr. Ed, naturally.
I had never meditated for over an hour’s time in Taiwan from before, and now, faced with at least four hours’ worth of meditation every day, I’d slept, waken, and slept again, felt hot and cold, lost, my body felt the fatigues, my thoughts had, drifted, to too, faraway, to the point of annoying myself: did I, get off track again?
In the counsels, Mr. Ed told me, that I just need to, carry that relaxed attitude, breathe smoothly, he said, “When we meditate, our spirits are freed, our muscles relaxed, we breathe easily, and, waste less oxygen, and naturally, our heartrates would, reduce, and these are the short-term effects of meditating; if you meditate habitually, and, use the skills you learn from meditation to your daily lives, and, through accumulation, it will then, have that effect of stress relief, and, help you tap into your own, potentials, and even, changing your own, personality characteristics, the long-term effects.”
In the six-hour long meditation, I’d felt it especially difficult for me, couldn’t sit still, didn’t want to recite the sound of meditation either, the sun was shining out the window, with the birds outside, chirping away, why did I, leave behind my husband and child, and come so many miles away? There’s, that light scent of sorrow that surfaced up inside, and I couldn’t help, but dialed that international call back home to Taiwan, and, as I heard my husband’s “hello”, I’d started, crying hard, couldn’t say a word out. At the counseling session that day, I’d started, ranting, and, lost control of my self, cried for, twenty minutes, and, after I’d, cried all out, I’d felt, better, and gained the confidence of believing, that everything is going to be, okay.
The group activity at night, it’s the time for the pupils to interact, to share, to get to know each other, Mr. Ed told us to blend in, to mingle. There were fifty pupils there, from all over the world, of them, British took up about half, then, the Norwegians, the Swedish, the German, and, the Spanish. They were all, curious of us, who are from, Taiwan, and I’d had to, answer to their, inquiries, used all the English words I’d picked up in school, felt tongue tied. And, this gathering, got me tensed up all over, to tell the truth, for those who are meditating, they’re, way too, talkative!
And, I’d heard, that since the start of the International Meditating Camps, this was the most number of people who’d, signed on, to the point of alerting the local news to come to film us all; this may be, to show the effects of the International Meditation Camp, and, Yao and I became, the spokespersons, the only, Asian faces there, leapt to the front page, ha, I suppose, we’re, an, alternative, sort of “light of Taiwan” then?
And so, this, is something we can all do, on our own, to meditate, and you don’t need to go too far from home to do it, just, find that corner inside of your home, and just, sit quietly, and if your minds drift away from focus, let them, that, is what meditation is about: listening to the silence of your bodies, to be in that state of physical calm, and then, let that calm physically, turn inward.