On the experiences of taking piano lessons when you were a child, and how as a parent, you’d, wanted your daughter to follow your footsteps, but not pushed her too hard, like how you were, once, pushed by your own mother, and you’d, found that love of playing the piano back again, as your child slowly lost interest in it, translated…
Awhile ago, when I’d gone with my child to the piano classes, the instructor gave me a piano song book, told me, “Han’s mom, I know you have the basics down, you can practice the songs in this. The music in this song book may look easy, but they all sound beautiful!”
I’d taken the songbook from the piano instructor, kept thinking back: when was the last time I’d, played the piano?
The answer was, I can’t remember. I took up my piano lessons in my preschool years, until I graduated out of the music tracks, I’d gone to perform onstage countless times during, passed all the difficult evaluations one by one, on the surface, although, I’d, gained a ton of glory, but, I’d felt animosity toward “playing the piano” deep down. Because practicing on the piano took too much of my free time away, and when I’d carried too much expectations on me, I couldn’t get how playing was, enjoyable.
As I entered into the middle school years, the academic pressures got harder, not to mention how much I put into finishing school, I’d busied even harder after I’d started working, and naturally, I’d stopped, touching the keys on the piano keyboards. That black and shiny piano, became nothing, BUT a décor of my house, lonely, in the corner of my living room, for almost, thirty years.
Four years ago, as my last year kindergarten daughter begged me to let her take the piano lessons, I’d lightly asked myself: why do I let my child take the lessons? I’d thought about this for a very long time, and confirmed, that I only wanted my daughter to be happy, learning to play, no need for the evaluation performances, no need to perform on stage, just need to learn to play, step, by step is all. But, as my daughter got past the honeymoon phase of learning piano, the pieces got harder, what followed was———she’d needed to spend more time on practicing to play. To match up to the progresses of her class. And, I’d vowed, to NEVER push my own child to play, I started battling, I don’t want my daughter to sit in front of the piano in pain, but, watching her in her leisure, sitting in front of the T.V., it’d, pained me so!
illustration from UDN.com
To not go against my own ill, I’d hinted and flat out told my daughter that she needed to practice on the piano, to let her be as happy as she can be, when she’s playing. Toward how she’d become, lacking in interest from time to time, I’d felt worried, but not forced her, then, set up that stopping point, if my child really got into that state of not practicing, then, I shall, stop taking her to the lessons after this term is over! No need to think on how she’d not completely the learning of playing piano, no need to feel awful about the tuition I’d spent on her learning to play.
But it’s odd, after I’d, adjusted my own mindset to my daughter’s playing, I’d wanted to, sit back down to play again. I took out my daughter’s piano teacher’s song book that she’d given to me, and the last time I’d played, it’s, on a leisure Sunday night, from THIRTY years ago, I’d, settled my heart down, sat quietly, played many songs from the book. Thankfully, my hands still remembered how they used to play, and the piano teacher was, absolutely, correct, these songs are, melodious!
And so, what’s changed from your childhood to adulthood was your mindset, back then, your mother FORCED you to play, and you’d, hated it, and, you’d, NOT forced your child to play, and when she showed an interest, you’d, signed her up for the classes, and, as she’d, gotten sidetracked on other things, you’d stayed true, to your promise to NOT force the piano playing on your young like it’d been, forced on you too, and, you were able to, find the music that flowed out of your fingertips again…