The kindness shown to this hired foreign caretaker for the parents, is reciprocated, because that is, how it goes, when you’re, kind to others, they will surely be, kind to you, and your, loved ones too, translated…
Seeing the photo from my older sister-in-law from LINE, with “Yaya hugged mom tight and couldn’t stop crying”, my tears came too. Yaya is returning to Indonesia soon, she couldn’t, help take care of my mother anymore, it’s, truly, sad, for we’d already, begun treating her, as a member of our own, family.
Last time I’d gone to my mother’s to visit, I’d given her a red envelope, thanking her for taking good care of mom, she’d hugged me tight, and we started crying together, she’d used her not-fluent-enough Mandarin, told me, “I’m sorry aunty, I’m going home, I can’t take care of grandma (what she’d called my mother) anymore!”, I’d replied, “Don’t say that, I’m truly grateful for you, looking after grandma and grandpa all these years, you’re really wonderful, do come back for a visit soon!”, my older sister-in-law was, crying too, the three of us women, cried our eyes out in the kitchens then.
Four years ago, I’d met Yaya for the very first time at my mother’s home, she was thin, and slender, how was she to take care of my plump, chubby dad? And besides, she couldn’t understand Chinese, OR Taiwanese yet.
Thankfully, she was, really, well-behave, worked hard, learning the needed skills, she had, taken good care of my father who’d been, bedridden, and we were all, comforted, leaving my father in her care. Two years later, my father, passed on, and Yaya was, distraught.
Then, she stayed, to look after my mother who’s had a stroke, and became, demented. Imagine, if we didn’t have her helping us at home, how messy our lives would get.
like this???
Yaya became, better and better at communication, and learned to cook too, she can, do it on her own. Once I’d returned home for a visit, my older brother and sister-in-law were out, Yaya made a few dishes, she kept telling me to eat it, I took a few bites, and gave her thumbs up, “Wow, so delicious! Better cook than me!” she was so happy hearing this, and, opened up the fridge, stated, “Aunty, aunty (my sister-in-law) told me to give you these packs of foods, do remember to take it with you when you go!”, Ha! Yaya is, assimilated for sure, knew, that us “daughter-thieves” would take things from our parents’ homes now.
For a while my mother was hospitalized, Yaya stayed, guarding my mother’s side at the hospital. I bought some coffee, and cakes for her, told her to rest up. Tears came to her eyes, as she’d told me repeatedly, “thank you, Aunty!”, I’d held her tightly, tears came rolling down, such a depth of connection our families’, shared with her. She’d, floated over the seas to look after my parents, did a better job than I had, as their, daughter, but all good things, must come, to an, end, and all I can do, is, wish her, the best now.
It’s just, that my mother who’d become, demented, would she feel, that slight scent of loss: where’s that “daughter” who’d stayed by her side throughout the nights and days? Mom, Yaya’s going back to Indonesia, do take care of yourself; Yaya, do be happy as you start living your life in Indonesia, we will all, miss you, so, take good care of yourself, and, farewell!
This is, the depth of the connections shared between this hired nurse’s aide with the families, because the caretaker is gentle, kind, and treated the elders as they were, her own aging parents or grandparents, and the families appreciated her, and treated her like one of their own, and the foreign nurse’s aide reciprocated the kindness shown to her by this family, back to them too.