The elderly woman, is really avant-garde in her belief all right, not pushing her son to have a grandchild, and, there are a TON of middle generation parents who are still, holding strong to the beliefs of, children MUST procreate, to carry on the family’s last name, but not this mother! Translated…
My youngest brother who’d originally carried the belief of he will never get married, as he turned forty, he’d, married my sister-in-law who’s the same age in a jiffy, then, there came the looks of care and concerns for them, everybody, neighbors, distant or near relatives, all started inquiring my mother, “when are you going to be a grandmother?” “your daughter-in-law’s not getting any younger, she needs to work harder, to make you into a grandmother!”
At first, my mother’s replies were, “just go with the flow”, to the later, “the younger generations have their own plans of life”, but it just couldn’t, silence all the neighbors, the relatives, or friends, they’d still, showed a ton of cares and concerns toward the matter. And later, my mother was probably tired, and started telling everybody, “The two of them had decided to NEVER have children”. And yet, someone started stating, bluntly, “That won’t do at all, he’s an only son, and there would NOT be anybody to carry on the family’s, last name then!”
My mother replied, “how so? My three daughters all had children, hadn’t they? I already have a total of, SEVEN grandkids already, our blood does NOT end here! And, maternal or paternal grandchildren, they’re, ALL the same to me!”, her words, not only managed, to SILENCE those who are, too nosy, and it’d made me bow down to her too.
My sister-in-law’s mother is still quite traditional, and she’d once told my mother, apologetically, “in-law, I’m so sorry, my daughter had married over, and still not yet given you a grandchild.” I kept remembering my mother’s cool reply, “oh, she didn’t marry over to our family to have grandchildren for me, she’s married over, to accompany my son!”, and as I’d heard her told the in-law that, I was, so moved to tears.
My mother who’s nearing eighty, can get out of that frames of mind of “there are THREE ills of filial piety. Not having an offspring is the major one!”, and she’d, treated all her grandchildren, girls or boys, equally, and she’d not, blamed her daughter-in-law for not making her a paternal grandmother, but tossed that strike back to all our relatives, and gave the in-law such a heartwarming reply, and, I’d felt, compelled to give this, more than understanding elderly woman in my home a kudos!
And so, this mother is wonderful, in that she’d, not get trapped by the traditional belief systems of having a grandchild from her own son, to carry on the family’s last name, unlike how a lot of these Asian parents are, still carrying that mindset of having a male heir is doing the family name justice.
Life, the Obstacle Course 