The lessons you learn from the younger generations, from your daily interactions, translated…
My five-year-old nephew was running around in my house, in order to not get in his way, his ninety-year-old great grandmother fell. Thankfully, she fell onto the soft mats, no major damage. I’d told my nephew to apologize to her, he’d insisted on he wasn’t going to, talked back to me, “why do I need to apologize?”, I was furious, I need to make him understand how serious it was that his great grandmother had tripped and fallen down because of him, that he shall, NEVER do it again! But, our conversations quickly, hit the rocks, I’d told him to apologize, he’d told me no.
Later I’d asked him, why he refused to apologize to great grandmother? He’d replied, “I didn’t trip her! She fell all on her own, what’s it got to do with me?”, I’d replied, “you were running around, and, great grandma couldn’t steady herself between the mats and the couch.” My nephew insisted, “reason why there’s that small space was because grandma pushed the couch backward, had she not moved it, then she wouldn’t have fallen.” I’d asked her, “why do you think she moved the couch back? She worried that you are watching the T.V. too close to the screens, that you will ruin your eyesight!”
That was when my nephew finally understood where his great grandmother was coming from, and he’d turned his anger to scapegoat on the mats, “it’s because the mats were there, what’s it got to do with me?”, I’d said, “the mats were there, for you to play on, otherwise, you put it up, and don’t EVER play there again. Say you’re sorry to great grandma!”, even though I’d taken a harsher tone of voice now, he’d still rebutted, “I didn’t bump into her!”
And, we’d engaged in silent treatment that entire morning, during which time, I’d thought back to the conversation I’d held with him. In the afternoon, he came knocking on my door, wanted me to play Lego with him, before we’d started playing, I’d squatted down, told him, “I need to say I’m sorry to you too, I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you, I was just too worried that great grandma will fall and injure herself. You were right, you didn’t bump into great grandma. You were great, not just, complied to my requests, and were willing to tell me what you thought.”
And, at this time, my nephew started reacting awkwardly, started smiling that sly smile. I’d asked him, “then, are there ways we can help great grandma to not trip and fall, for instance, you not running around the house? Or maybe, you can, help great grandma watch if there were obstacles in her path, to remind her to walk around carefully?”
My nephew’s “why do I need to apologize” and his mentioning of the various reasons, it’d made me realized, that he was, even more, thoughtful than I had been. As the children “find excuses”, we should, keep on, inquiring, because, we may find, that we’d, blamed them, for something they actually, didn’t, do at all.
And so, this adult learned an important lesson from this young kid, and the kid refused to apologize, because he was NOT the one who’d tripped his great grandmother that she’d, fallen down, and as the aunt asked him to apologize, he’d refused, because in his subjective view, he’d not tripped his great grandmother, and this caused the adults to check everything again, to reexamine herself, and, had this aunt just, punished the nephew, then, the aunt wouldn’t have, learned this important lesson from her young nephew. So, before we all, go OFF on the younger generations on something we’re, accusing them for doing, we need to, cross check, ALL of our, facts here!