From a neurologist, on seeing how the members of the caretakers’ group showed each other the emotional, the practical supports, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…
Working in the medical fields for long, there’s, that blindspot, and I’d felt, that there’s, an influx of knowledge on caretaking in dementia, and I can’t help but wondered: how come there are the classes offered, the activities to engage those diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia, are they, absolutely, necessary?” Until a few days ago, when I’d gone to a function, it’d, waken me up: to those us who work in the medical field, it’s, something small, but for the families, it’s, that needed, “lifeline”.
I’d gone to the final family support group meet for the caretaking community of Dementia and Alzheimer’s of the year, and, I’d, intentionally, made myself scarce, because with the status of physician, it can, interrupt the attention, and, if we shifted the focus back to the locals, then, we will, hear their, needs.
And it was, exactly like so, I’d heard the families of those who recently were diagnosed, with that lack of confidence in his voice, apologizing for being late because he couldn’t find a parking space, that his parent was recently diagnosed, and he was confused as to where he can get the needed information on learning to take care of his loved ones.
like this???
There were the families with the years of experiences who’d, offered the man encouragements immediately, “You’re not in the wrong place”, “These family support groups, though unlike those lecturers by the medical professionals, you still can learn a lot from interacting with us.” “Actually, we are all, experienced in our own lives, taking care of the demented elderly in our homes, and personal experiences, and the trials we’d endured through, can help you! We can, exchange thoughts, and offer one another encouragements too!”
A member of the group smiled on bitterly, “both my parents were diagnosed with dementia, and they’d both died a couple of years ago; thought I can finally relax, then, my in-laws were both, diagnosed one after the other! Dementia became very common, you’re, NOT alone in this!” another chimed in, “my mom and my younger brother also, my younger brother isn’t elderly, but suffered a brain injury, and became demented, it’s very hard and trying, as caretakers, but, we’d all, made it here!”
The consoles given, it’d clearly, relieved the family who’s only begun the process in caretaking, but he’d admitted to the group, that his biggest problem is that he wanted to seek help from professionals, but his families wouldn’t agree. As he’d stated this, the person sitting next to him called out, “Those of you who had objections in seeking out help from the start, stand up!”, and, almost everybody there stood up, and, as they looked upon one another, they started, laughing, and, it was that sense of, “we’re in the same boat”, that sense of we’d all weathered through this, gone on blind, and figured out the ways, that sort of a relief.
Up to here, the families with the newly diagnosed was moved, “I understand it now, whether it be the classes or seeking out the resources, I’d needed to, find the strength to keep going, from the social supports”, he’d started, opening up, and discussed with those more experienced in the caretaking process, on how to cope.
I, hidden in the corners, not made myself visible, can’t help but feel happy for everybody who was there. This activity, it’d helped the families find the support in the groups, and at the same time, I’d realized, why it is that we need to keep on doing these meetings, and even though, we’d get discouraged at the turn out when it’s not as we’d expected it, I’d told myself to not give up, so long as there’s a place, a chance to interact, then, the families can get to know each other, and help each other through, this hard path to taking care of their, demented elderly, loved ones.
And so, social support is too important still, as this man who was “new” to the forum found by experiences, and these who’d shown up for the gatherings all had experiences in taking care of their own demented loved ones, and, that’s why it’s, important, to NOT be afraid to ask for help, because, by going to these groups, you will find the social, the emotional, as well as the practical supports you can use in your taking care of your own, demented, loved ones.
Life, the Obstacle Course 