How this book helped improve the way this man relate to his external environment, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…
After reading Mr. Mao-Hsiung Chen’s “Putting Introspection into Practice Using the Satir Method”, I’d started, examining my own personality traits. I’d learned from Mr. Chen’s past book, “Coaching Using the Satir Method”, learned that as a manager, I’d needed to wear the three different hats of “manager”, of “instructor”, and of “coach” all at the same time, to manage, to teach, and inspire my workers, the book helped me a whole lot. This new book shifted the focus from the workforces into the realms of personal growth and development.
As people, should we, CARE what others think and feel about us? If we cared too much, we can’t be ourselves, if we don’t care enough, then, we’re, isolated from the group, how to find that delicate balance, is something we all must work on our whole lives. With that balance of the mind, and the body, it’s a huge challenge that all of us, modern-day man must face.
The key to finding that balance, the most important thing, is to know our selves. Because of nature and nurture, we’re all, different, with the better, and the not-so-good qualities about us. To become a better person, the key is NOT comparing ourselves with others, but how to improve ourselves a little bit more by the day.
Everything begins in knowing ourselves. Understanding the good, and bad qualities of our personality characters, to break away from the habitual and being driven to act by our own emotions, first we must change ourselves, then, we will have the ability, to change others around us. Our eyes often looked outside, so, getting to the core of who we are isn’t easy, we must, work even harder, to look inside our selves.
In the workplace, we hold the 360-degree evaluations annually, with the self-evaluation of the employees, the managers, the subordinates, and peers, four categories. The workers with a stable proportion, showed a sharp contrast between the self-evaluation and the other three. In other words, there’s, this huge difference between how others see us and how we see, ourselves. So, knowing ourselves, isn’t as easy as it is stated. And, this book provided the theoretical frameworks, the methods to analyze oneself, helping us not only know ourselves, but through thinking and practice, to change the limitations that we were born with, to become, a more, complete, human being.
The book used the theory of unification as a tool, helping the readers understanding where they stand in the stage constructed of the three sides, “the self”, “others”, and “in situations”, without the loss of balance. As I read, I clearly believed that I was, the extremely rational type, enjoyed using reasoning, logic, to convince, everything is based off of fact, but, I’d, overlooked the realms of, emotions. Especially in the family life, it’s never simple, we can’t, always use reason as a guide, we need to, use more sensibility, and more emotions, to connect. Knowing our own limits, then using the tools, the theories the book offered, to help us bring about change, it can help us live a more balanced life.
Another key was managing our emotions. We need to become aware, to deal with, our emotions, but not allowing our emotions to rule us, and we need to use and adjust our usually accustomed to words and adjust accordingly. Being emotional is not bad, but, being led by our emotions, it’s, something dangerous. Finding that viable outlet, expressing one’s emotions, it’s healthy. The book also teaches the reader to face, to accept, to deal with, and to let go of the emotions. That way, we can, “graciously accept whatever comes our way”, and because our behavior is an aware choice, we’re not, directed by our emotions.
An important CORE value is empathy, and this, is what this world lacks right now. Everybody sees her/himself as the center of the universe, whatever I liked, I do. And, the result of doing what we please, is this huge chaos in the world. Through the methods mentioned by the book, with the prerequisite of not bending our own wills, we will learn to empathize others, and, react, according to the situations we face.
I’d found, that applying what I’d learned from reading helped improve communication, and my interpersonal relations. For instance, my interactions with my teenage children, there’s, a clear change for the better, I hope that more readers will benefit from reading this book.
And so, this is what this man learned, from reading a book, and the key is the application of cognitive-behavioral methods, you need to first become AWARE of your own tendencies, what makes you tick, and how you feel when that stimuli occurred, and after you find that out, then, you will, gain more control over how you can react less to that certain stimulus when it occurs again in your life. It’s all about becoming more self-aware, so you can, change your own reactions to things.