Kids wondering how their parents, and their grandparents were, married here, translated…
“Mommy, how did dad propose to you?”, my younger daughter asked these questions beyond her years, and always asked me a lot of questions. The rituals for marriage now, either screaming aloud, “MARRY ME!” on top of the Tokyo Tower, going to Ludao to snorkel, pulling out that diamond ring, giving the brides a huge surprise. Back then, mommy’s surprise should be, that finally, someone was, willing to, put up with my bad temper, my inability to do the household chores, my not being pretty enough, nor, gentle enough; and since marriage is contractual, daddy studied law too, he ought to know the contents of this contract, and naturally, he’d started, setting the date, selected the gifts, offering the respects to our ancestors, seeing if the date we’d selected was fit for a ceremony, selecting a restaurant, etc., etc., etc.,etc.
“Actually, the most romantic thing that’s been said, was how grandpa proposed to grandma.” Mommy replied.
“Really? They would get all mushy in their time too?”, my older son inquired.
In the sixties, Taiwan was transitioning from agriculture to industrialization, and there are, a dozen of children per household easy. Your grandfather is the eldest son, with four younger brothers, five younger sisters (your great aunts and uncles), children are manpower, and so after he’d graduated from the elementary years, he’d started apprenticing in the factories, helping to better the household economics. Seeing how he’s about to get shipped out for his service terms, who is going to take care of the families then? And so, he’d found a physically abled, optimistic, outgoing girl, told her, “I hope you can help me with my family.”
illustration from UDN.com
Then, that girl who let love go to her head said, “go serve in the army, don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything at home”.
This was, the most romantic thing I’d ever heard.
“What? That should be a line, from the D.O.D.’s attempt to get the younger generations of men to enlist!” my older son asked surprised, “So, grandma agreed to, marry, grandpa, just like that?”
They’re both twenty years old already, and fell in love on their own, why not?
“The Legislative Department passed the Codes on August 30th, 2020, there were thirty-eight amendments”, dad opened up the newspaper, started reading aloud, “the amendments include the age of adulthood lowered from twenty to eighteen, the age of marriage set at eighteen, set to be implemented on January first of 2023, the eighteen-year-olds will be allowed to get their new bank accounts, sign on the lease agreement, work as a member of the board of trustees of a company, as a founder of the company.”
“Eighteen…………ahhhhhhhhhh, you two, work harder, I want to be a grandmother.” Mommy urged.
“We still have homework, we’ll be, in touch, thank you.” the two of them wanted to leave the living room.
Wait, don’t you want a romance?
“The story of the two of you?”, my children were doubtful, “Didn’t you two go by the laws?”
About grandma and grandpa!
It’s said, that after grandma married over, she’d set up a salon at the township of Zhunan, and the parents of your grandfather couldn’t afford to raise all their children, and so, they’d decided to send your fourth great aunt up for adoption.
“Adoption?”, my younger inquired, “is it like becoming a monk?”, all she cared was that her great aunt won’t be having any meat ever again.
This was not the same! Giving one’s underage children up for adoption.
Dad chimed in, from earlier, there’s the child-bride systems, like recruiting a girl of the similar age, making her handle all our household chores, and when she’s old enough, she’s to marry your older brother”, dad explained.
“So scary!” my son objected, “Why should who I am to marry get decided by my parents when I was too young to even know?”
(Ahhhhhhh, the marriage you decide on your own, may not end well, look at mommy, letting love rush to my head, marrying my older schoolmate…………deleting about a million unromantic stories)
And so, this, is the parents, feeding to the children’s curiosities of how the law works, of how and what constitutes as a marriage, legally, and, the parents were instilling some knowledge into the children, and the children are learning, without sitting down, and being in a classroom setting.