What these two people did, for this elderly woman in her final passage of life, they brought joys to her final days, touched her life with their kindness, translated…
Grandma Helen was once an English Teacher, So She’d Quoted Tagore to Describe Her Own Life: Life is Like the Radiant Flowers of Summer, Death, Quiet and Beautiful Like the Autumn Leaves………
A Rare Farce
Grandma Helen is always graceful and elegant, while the other patients at the hospice looked weak and frail, she’d, put on the pink-colored lipstick, with the pretty shawl, she’d told us that while she still can, she will, doll herself up every single day! Because she never married, she’d had to face the illness by herself, I’d asked if she felt scared? She’s a devout Catholic, she’d told me, “I may not have a family, but I have the Heavenly Father, I will be returned back to my Father’s side, my Heavenly Father loves me the most, what do I have to fear?
Grandma Helen had taught English, so she’d described her own life using Tagore: Life bloomed radiantly like the flowers of summer, death, beautiful, like the stillness of the autumn leaves.
Nobody could believe, that Grandma Helen who’s very rational in action and speech, during her stay, became archnemesis with Joseph, “Chang the Headmaster”, my partner in volunteering. Reason being how Chang used his Cantonese accented Mandarin told her and the nun who was looking after, “Good morning, I’m Chih the Deity (I’m the volunteer), Joseph, if you need assistance, you can come to the Chih the Deity’s department (volunteer room) to find us. Ahhhhhhhh! Sister, you need to put on the mask, you need to protect yourself first, then you can, tie (protect) Grandma Helen down too!”
As Grandma Helen heard, how is there the deity? And wanted to restrain her too? Where was she, in the hospital, or, the mental ward? She’d immediately pulled the emergency bell, and the paramedics rushed in…and they saw Grandma Helen rushed to tell the tale, and Boss Chang hurried to explain himself, and I was flustered, offering translation to his Mandarin with a thick accent, and, this was how the circus scene had, occurred in the ward.
And there was one more time, when there’s the need to fill in the personal data of the patient, Boss Chang asked for Grandma Helen’s age, and she’d gotten angered, stated, “Don’t you know it’s not polite, to ask a woman her age, I refuse to answer this question!” later, the nun close by told us, that she’d, already, forgotten how old she is, but she’s afraid that she is called demented by others, and, Boss Chang hit her where she’d hurt the most, and so, Grandma Helen brushed it off, but ever since, she’d, not given Boss Chang any easy time.
But, Boss Chang still watched over her well, knowing that she’d not liked tea, and every time teas were served, he’d always, made a cup of coffee for her. Boss Chang said he would play the harmonica for her, and, she kicked him out, said he was given her ears a symphony of cacophony, he’d sung the theme song for “Lee & the Flying Dagger” and, it was interpreted as noise by her, and, she’d, kicked him, but, as Grandma Helen gave Chang her fly kick, she’d, smiled that playful smile quietly. And, based off of my observations, Grandma Helen didn’t dislike Boss Chang, she’d not hated the “noises” he’d performed for her, she just cared too much about how she appeared. For instance, once as Chang played the Taiwanese tune on the harmonica for everybody, Grandma Helen had clapped with the tempo secretly, but as she’d found me watching her, she’d, stopped, and, acted like it was nothing, and returned back to her ward.
All We Can Do is to Stay with Her
As Grandma Helen served her “term”, because her pain was under control she was discharged from the hospital. And two months later when we saw her again, we couldn’t, recognize her, her originally slim body became, even more, withered away, and she wasn’t her usual, chatty self. Bossman Chang went to her bed, and sang the theme song, hoping that she could, fly kick him again, but, she’d, not moved an inch. Chang and I both guessed, that she probably forgot who we are, or maybe, she’d, lost too much energy, and couldn’t find the strength to speak another word.
That day, the nun who was looking after her needed to head back to school, and asked me and Chang to go to her room to stay with her as company. Grandma Helen sat on her bed, with her head, lowered than low, like the ghosts in the comics, sorrowful, and elderly. Toward our greetings, she’d not responded. After a very long time, she’d, stated, “I’m so…afraid.”
The voice was very light, and yet, every syllable hit my heart, hard. I’m thinking, that she now feared death, not like how she was, at ease with it when she first got admitted, and al we can do now for her, is accompany by her side. I took her hand, told her, “don’t be afraid, we’re, all here. Do you want Boss Chang to play the ‘devil’s music’ for you now?”, she’d, nodded.
volunteer at a hospice
Chang was very serious this time, he’d not played the tune, and, “Amazing Grace” was what came out, and I felt, that her body was, relaxing, she’d lifted her head, looked at us, slowly stated, “I still remember you, I’m not demented. You’re Ms. Wang, and he’s Joseph, Bossman Chang, thank you. Joseph, I understand your heart real well. I’m actually, a very timid person, very afraid of being lonely, thank you for bringing me joy, making me laugh, so I don’t feel alone anymore, this is, the Heavenly Father’s amazing grace to me, thank you very much!”
Bossman Chang was encouraged and received that affirmation from Grandma Helen, and he was even more focused, in playing the music, “Amazing Grace” became like this gentle light, warming up the entire hospital room. Grandma Helen used one of her hands to tap out the rhythms, and hummed along sporadically, “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound…………”
And, Grandma Helen’s hand that tapped out the tempos slowed down…………slowed down, I seem to see Grandma Helen, in her pretty shawl, basking in the beautiful golden light, smiling, “Life is radiant like the flowers that bloomed in the summertime, death, serene like the autumn leaves fallen.”
And so this, is from the experiences of volunteering in the terminal ward, these two individuals brought light to this elderly woman’s life, and, it’d enriched her final passage of life, they’d helped her maintained her dignity to the very end.
Life, the Obstacle Course 