It Takes a Village

The view of childrearing, being, everyone’s responsibilities, how the community need to, raise one child up well, translated…

Although the U.S. is a country that’s based off of gender equality, with many measures to create the gender equality, but there are, actually, so many conservative cities; as the first lady, Hillary Clinton pushed forth for gender equality, and she wrote a book called, “It Takes a Village”.

During the time when Hillary was raising her own children, if a woman entered into the family and has children, normally, the society wanted her to take a break from work, focusing on rearing the children, and wait until the children are old enough, then, return back to the workforce.  And yet, many of the precious opportunities of work may be lost during which time.

illustration from UDN.com

The title of “It Takes a Village” came from an African saying, it means, that to raise a child, it take everybody in the village.  As Clinton wrote this book, she’d hoped that the libraries, the public nurseries, the schools, and the parenting groups to help set up a security net which children can grow up safe and sound under, she’d imagined America as a village, that every child can grow up safe and sound inside.

But, in a complex society like the modern day world, can it be like Clinton stated, “it takes a village”?  Especially in Asian communities, putting the emphasis on competition and test taking, making every child learn a different talent, our society is having us, passing through, the smallest sort of possibilities, to show our own, uniqueness, so we can have a chance of being, successful.

the book by H. Clinton…image found online

In this high competition, and complex society, with the birthrate on the decline, we’d needed someone who will zoom in on our young to do their homework.  If it’s an instructor or nanny we’d hired, they wouldn’t treat the children’s achievement as their own pride, they would have a reduced level of responsibility, it’s best, that the mothers, using a more, forceful measures, like the “Songs of the Tiger Mom” hoping the kids can weather through the hardships, and learn to suppress one’s own emotions, when faced with things s/he doesn’t enjoy doing, that’s how they’ll be, successful in life.

How do we reach a balance between these two views?  And, what role does the single father play?  If we want a full-time caretaker staying with our young as they grow up, is this, better for the education for the young?  And yet, studies showed, that the experienced working caretakers is better able to help the children.  Simply stated, the children can see the caretakers’ performances in their professions, and at the same time, it prepares the young for their future jobs.

But in modern day society, can we be like a village, to allow the various caretakers, to look after the children?  We are discovering right now, if we don’t restrict the time of usage of computer or video games, maybe, the villagers are the players of these online games.  Or, if we don’t put a restriction on the child’s behaviors, they may end up as a gangster later.

The best way to mediate between these two ideals, should be having all the caretakers, not give up on one’s own professionalism, so the kids can see the caretakers being respected at work.  I recalled how my son looked at me with his eyes shining bright, as I lectured on the podium, he’d told me that when he grows up, he also, wanted to become, a lecturing, professor too, or giving speeches on the podium.

But, being a single parent, the sole caretaker, at the same time, we’d needed the relatives and friends to play the roles of the various caretakers in the village, like at the same time, I have the tutors, the grandmother of my son, his great aunt who once worked as a preschool instructor, and the foreign household help, everyone takes turn, looking after the various areas of my young son’s life, so I don’t, burn on both ends too hard.  At the same time, I’d let the teachers in my son’s school know my conditions, hoping, that he can, get to know my son better.

So, this, is the belief, how in order to raise up a healthy, well-rounded child, we need everyone onboard, how it’s not just the responsibilities of the parents alone, but the whole society, to chip in, to offer help to those who are in need, but unfortunately, we’re all, too trapped in our own tiny little world, we can’t even, take care of everything in our own separate lives, how can we possibly, look after, someone else’s, welfare?