Should We Give Up Our Jobs, with a Special Needs Child at Home?

There are so many things to consider, when you have a special needs child at home, translated…

Empathy, Trust, & Being There for Your Children, is Way More Important than the Early Intervention Programs, and Giving Up Our Jobs

With a special needs child at home, should we, stop working, and stay by our children’s sides twenty-four seven to watch over them?  All parents know, that the early intervention times should NOT be missed, but, if we can’t give up our work, then, time and energy, shall be, our, biggest challenge ever.

During the time when my husband was sent to work in Korea for seven whole years, I was, a full-time mother, watching over my own young.  Although, back then, my child had yet to be, diagnosed as having an autistic spectrum disorder, but, he’d fallen ill a lot as a baby, and, my fluency in Korean was, from the Korean Children’s Hospital systems.  Asthma in Korean is the same as “panting”, the needles for injections are called “syringes for injections”…………

Returning back to Taiwan, my son and I are in the same school, I was a substitute there, and then, the two of us started going to school, and getting out together.

Later, I’d worked in a computer company, and because I’d often received calls from my son’s school, and needed to rush over when I was called, I can’t be a full-time worker.  But even if it’s the hourly jobs, I was still, forcing myself to delay my time for work, to pick up my son, who got into, trouble in school.

My two children were raised by me, although, as they’d grown up, they’d complained how I have not set up the rules, that I just did whatever came to my mind, nor had I, discussed my methods of education with anybody else.  From the angle of education, yeah, I should be, criticized for my methodology.

And, even with my casually training my young, without the set schedules for them, my son still, followed the clock; while although my daughter is easy going, she would still, finish what she was, supposed to, I need not worry about them.

And why is it like this?  I think, the key here is not giving up work, putting my children into the early intervention programs, but had we, empathized with our children, trust the choice they made, and, have them, carry the consequences of their own, actions.  Telling them, I will be beside you, helping you solve your problems.

illustration from UDN.com

My Son Stood in the Pouring Rain, Refusing to Leave

I’d told my son, “I’m going to school to handle this.  It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know they were going to, change your classroom.”

My son refused to let me go.

I’d told him, “I need to go to the counselors to ask for help, but you can decide, if you want to make up the class later.”

And, the school naturally, understood my son’s difficulties, his math and English teacher told that he was, studious, that they wouldn’t give him a hard time, they’d wanted me to tell my son, to take the courses well, to finish his exams, that they wouldn’t, flunk him just because he missed a class period.

I’d gone home, told my son what his teachers told me.

Later, he was, willing to, return back to school, made up his missed course, and, successfully, graduated.

Take Good Care of Ourselves, then, the Kids Will Have a Chance to Learn How to Take Care of Themselves

As my son was in middle school, I had a crash, broken my leg, couldn’t get to work, so, I’d, set up a rental bookstore with three of my friends to make the incomes.

The time of work I chose was in the evenings, because as my son was in school during the daytime, he would have the incidents, and I’d needed to, go to his school to sort through the matters.  In the evenings, he would be at home, and, NO incidents that happen so abruptly, that upset him, which will cause him to reject school, he’d gone to bed on time, got up for school on time too, and, even as I’d not arrived home past midnight, he’d, managed well.

But, even as those incidents happened, my coworkers were all, more than understanding, to switch shifts with me, because they all knew of my hardship.  We made a very low profit from our book rental shop, but, we are all, book lovers, and trusted one another, didn’t care about the wages, or the long work hours either.  This work, although, I seemed like the part-timing employee, with no set schedules for work, but, it would allow me to “go as I needed to”.  I’m more than grateful for my partners, how we’d, worked with each other’s changes in schedules, successfully, passed through, this past decade.

But I must say, an important thing about work is, work is my source of achievement, and it also, lets me, take a breather.

I loved encountering the different people at work, it’d, made me feel more alive, and it diverts me from my pains, adding more happiness to my life.

With a special needs child at home, we are, impacted economically greatly, this is precisely, why I’d, never worked full-time.  Other than my son’s needing physical therapy, counseling.  He still has two conditions that needed to have the medications long-term too.

This wasn’t unique just in my case, a lot of special needs children have multiple conditions.  They’re picky eaters, stubborn, very sensitive to seasonal changes, would be overly stimulated in visual, and auditory senses, which caused, a ton of other problems that came along with these.  The challenges that the parents must face, are lined up, like an obstacle course.

Do the parents give up work, and just stay at home with the kids?  Of course, the considerations are different for each parent.  Whether if it’s to face the kids at home, or to work to find that moment to take that needed breath, do remember, that work is not a lifetime deal, nor is taking care of your own young.  No matter what, DO care for yourselves first, that, is what’s, important.

You can’t give what you don’t have to your children; you need to take good care of yourself, so the kids will, take after your example, and take good care of themselves too.

And so, this is, the hardships of having special needs children at home, there are just, those things that pops up in your normal lives that required you, to spend a lot of your attention, like your children acting up, getting anxious in school, to the point that they start to, “malfunction”, and having a flexible work schedule helps, and, thankfully, your rental bookshop coworkers are, understanding to your needs, and you’re, allowed to run off as you needed to.