The Problem Lies in the Timing

An argument, because the mother failed to realize, that the daughter was, finally ready to work on her homework assignment, translated…

On the first day of school, my daughter and I, faced that long-time-a-coming war.

As she stared at the assignment books, with her head down on her desk, I’d, fired the first shot, of course, it was, only, a small shot.  An hour later, as I’d, gently reminded her, to pick up the items she’d left all over the couch.  She’d, ignored me, and, after three times, she’d still, not picked up on the messages yet, and so, I’d, fired, a bigger cannon ball, this time, was a medium-sized.  My daughter talked back to me, and so, I’d, fired off, my third shot.  This time, the war’s, on.  My daughter started screaming, used that machine-gun powered anger of hers, and started, shooting all around.  I couldn’t manage it, left the words, “Then, you’re, on your own tonight, I’m going to my bedroom now.”

My husband consoled with my daughter for a bit, as she’d listened to him talk, she’d, slammed her pen down on her desk, stated, “I’m not doing my assignments anymore, I’m going to sleep now.”  Until my children fell asleep, and are in dreams, my husbands and I sat down on the living couch, and started discussing if we were, awful parents.

The children just started school, and were having a difficult time adjusting to the schedules, I should be more patient, set my principles down, be gentler, be more steady…………but I wanted to scream too, honey, mom has a ton of pressures too, sometimes, I need you, to understand me a bit!

The following morn, my daughter got up half an hour early without me waking her, she’d finished her homework, picked up around the desk, poured the milk for the whole family, even took her younger sister’s temperature.  And I’m not at all surprised, because when she’s in a bad mood, she’s, Godzilla, but when she’s in a pleasant mood, she’d, turned into, an angel.

At breakfast, I’d asked her, “What do you think we should do, so we don’t fight like we had last night?”, she’d told me, “mom, I got mad, because it took me so long to finally get ready to do my assignments, and you’d, forced me to pick up the things in the living room.

Oh, so the problem lies, in the timing then.

As I was growing up, I’d desperately, wanted to, please my adult counterparts, and missed out on my own childhood, and now, as parents, it’s probably a good time, that I get into, the mindsets of my own young, and walk that mile in their shoes.

And this just showed, how in the heat of the moment, neither person is calmed down enough to talk, and how things get thrown, cannons, fired, guns go off, bombs, landmines, even, but after a night’s worth of saturating, of allowing oneself to calm back down, you can talk, and understand why you’d, interacted, acted and reacted the way you had from the night previous.