Goals, on Caretaking of the Elderly in the Family

How to, slowly, progress the elder from being more open to the assistance that she may be in need of, translated…

My mother-in-law had always been agile, in her eighties, she’d gone to China to travel, but five years later, because she wasn’t careful, moving the stuff around, she’d, injured her discs, started becoming, immobilized, then, arrythmia, the numbness of her facial nerves………not giving in to her age, she’d still, insisted on walking with the ergonomically adept canes to walk, would match rather used the ill-fitted umbrella to help her get around.  Because she’d believed, that umbrella is used by people who are, “normal”, and the canes are saved for those who are, ill, or old.

Although my mother-in-law worked hard in her physical therapy, but, there’s, a limited response, after all, you can’t, repair old age.  My husband had repeatedly, consoled my mother-in-law, for her own safety, to use a cane, but having too much pride, my mother-in-law had, refused.

One day, my husband saw an eye-catching, red-colored cane advertised on the wholesales mart, the shoes that tried to get the children to start working that squeaked with each step, thought, that maybe, this fashionable looking cane will get my mother-in-law to change her mind, and naturally, my mother-in-law, didn’t, object to it this time.  But, the transition from the umbrella, to the cane, it took, two, three years to finally complete.

My mother-in-law became more and more weakened, and even as she had that cane, she could, no longer head out on her own.  My husband and I both believed, that the four-legged walker are more fitting, to my mother-in-law’s needs, but, the wheelchair we’d, bought for her since a long time ago, was, spat on by her, and, we kept it, out of her sight.

At the start of last year, at age ninety, when my mother-in-law was trying to get up from the couch after watching television, but the cane she’s used to could, no longer, offer her enough support, that was when she’d, finally, accepted the idea of the four-legged, walker.  At this time, her areas of activity became, limited to the downstairs of the community.  I’d often, tried, persuading her, that if she were in a wheelchair, she could get, farther, from the park opposite her apartment complex, to the gardens of the officers in Shihlin too.  But, for the elder who’s, not clear on a lot of things, she’d, guarded the areas around her, where she’s most mobile in, and turned us down.

And so, pushing her to the gardens to see the flowers, to help her remember what she had for lunch, became, the goals of my husband and me for this year.

And so, these offspring had, respected the elder’s wishes, as she slowly, deteriorated, and this will help the elderly woman age with a little less difficulties, because with the loss of her mobility, she is, battling her own inability to do things that she was able to once, and, at this time, the support and love from the families is, especially, necessary.