The Hardships of Taking Care of Someone Long-Term

As a caretaker, of her mother, and as, an observer too, the hardships of, caretaking for the elderly who’d become, incapable of, caring, for themselves here, translated…

My heart felt heavy, after reading “Becoming a Gentler Caretaker” from December 17^th, because I am, also, a primary caretaker, and I can, understand, the hardships that the writer of the article spoke of………

I’d been my mother’s primary caretaker for over two years now, as my mother first had a stroke and became, immobilized, back then, she’d become, easily agitated, and made demands that are, too annoying, like flipping her over and scratching her back, and, no matter what I’d done, I can’t, make her, feel better; back then, she’d, weighed over two hundred pounds, the frequencies of her calling me came at five-minute increments, after only twelve hours, I’d, finally understood, what it’d meant, to have, no tears left I can cry.

When my mother was, hospitalized, the doctor taught us how to keep my mother’s head to the side, as he’d started, showing us how, he’d, mumbled about how heavy she was, back then, he’d, immediately called for assistance from the nursing staff members, and finally, they were able to, complete, this, simple task, of turning her on her back.  As we took my mother home, we’d, looked after her, at the same time, filed for an aide.  The first one who’d come, was a muscular man, who’s, not that tall, one day, he’d, shown us, how to, flip my mother from her bed to the wheelchairs, and that very evening, he hunched over, entered into the E.R., he’d told the nurses in the E.R., that he’d, pulled his back and leg muscles, taking care of a client; my niece was working at the same E.R., asked him, “is your patient, my grandma?” the caretaker smiled bitterly, said, “I think so………”

what’s happening all around…photo from online

Every family has its own stories, my elderly neighbor lost her husband, and last year, her daughter passed, it’d, made her anxious, believing that something might also be, wrong with her, she’d gone to the hospital by the week, and gotten her unnecessary diagnostic by the month, even as each and every physician she went to told her she was, healthy, she’d not, believed them, her son lives up north, and every time he’d returned, he’d, lifted his mother to get her health examined, and after awhile, the originally patient son started, complaining too.

Sometimes as we saw the primary caretakers getting upset, we shouldn’t, start the blames yet, perhaps, an encouraging look, a warmth of a greeting, it may, help more families, more individuals, to have the strengths they were needing, to keep going, down this road of, long-term care.

And so, as you can see, how long-term care is, turning, into, something major, because, as our elders fell ill, and we became, the primary caretakers, sometimes, without a helping hand, we put ourselves under too much stress, and if we can’t find an outlet to de-stress, then, tragedies will happen repeatedly.