Bidding You Farewell from the Mines

Death, in a small mining town, translated…

Awhile ago, I was remodeling the house, the electrician and the concrete master asked for a leave of absence to attend a funeral, the man who’d died, was the electrician.  As I’d heard, of how he was referred to, I’d, felt that wrench in my heart, it’s such an awful thing, being noted as what they’d noted him as after he was, gone, but, what’s weird is, that this sort of a man, made all his friends missed him too much, that they would, drop everything at work, just, to see him off.

As I’d started living in this small mountain town, I’d, envied the way people interacted with one another, with that cohesiveness, that although they’re not related by blood, but, they’d, interacted as if, they were next of kin, for someone who’d grown up in the cities like me, I’d found it, especially, interesting.  But slowly, I’d, discovered, that the wonder is, only on the surfaces, that there’s, a huge price t pay for it, it was, outrageous, as the daughters-in-law from outside told of their trials at home.

The funeral in the mines, everybody has a different opinion on who’s in charge of what, everybody, but the families of the, deceased, it’s the village’s affair, burying someone.  The women in the house of someone who’d died needed to cook all day long, to prepare the foods for all who’d come to help with the funerals, I’d heard it was, a total, nightmare, the day before the burial, they’d, needed to, stay next to the stove; it’s said, to be, the most sorrowful time, but, the women forgot their sorrows, through the busying around, they can’t squeeze out a single tear either, they’d, been, overworked.

not as “grand” as this, I’m afraid…photo from online

The uncertainties of life in the mines, it’d, bonded people together, otherwise, a family may well crumble down completely, because the accidental death of a member in it, this risk became, something that we’d, come to expect, every single day.  People knew their own limits, and how fragile life is, and needed to be with others, to give out one’s own privacies, and one’s own, autonomy, in exchange, for the support from everybody else around them; and, slowly, we’d, forgotten why it was we got together in the first place, and, became, meddlesome of one another’s life, took it to be, natural.

And slowly, the younger generations started not wanting to have the funerals at home, they’d, gone to the funeral homes for the matters, they’d not wanted to, carry this heavy burdens of life any longer, and, the structure of how we interact with one another, shifted, with the ending of the mining industries.  That sort of cohesiveness, closeness we had from before, although, it’s, a bit, suffocating, but it helps, catch those, lonely, helpless, lost souls.  The daughters-in-law who’d married from out of this part of the world, the children from the younger generations, they couldn’t, understand where these sorts of entanglements came, and complained on it often, and, escaped their duties and obligations too, it’d, distanced us all from one another, and, we’d ended up, facing our end on our own, lonely, alone, but, without the companionship is, without the burdens, so, nobody can say if it’s a good thing, or if, it’s, bad.

As the New Year’s approaching, there would be those elders, who’d, died, and how do we sort through the final affairs?  Who’s to, carry out the coffins?  Who should be hosting the services?  Who’s to decide on what?  If you want control over your own life and death, you need to be, strong, and independent, the lesson of being alone, needed to be, mastered.

what it’d, felt, like…

That electrician is the embodiment of working and living alone, but, what he’d, taken with him, is how much we all felt, that strong connection with him, the memories of interactions, he’d, given to us.

And so, this, is how close the people of this small mining town is, and, there’s, that scent of, estrangement from one’s own families too, and, it’s, not at all odd, that you’re, closer to those who aren’t related to you by blood, because you’d, established that support system with those around you, and, your own next-of-kin might not be able to be where you are, when you need them to, so, it’s, very important, that we all, set up, these connections with those who aren’t related to us by blood, because, in the very end, they’re the ones who will, come to our aid, compared to our relatives, our children, or even, our parents who live, so far away from us.