Touching someone else’s life, without realizing, that you are, doing so, translated…
Last year, the tragedies, stealthily, came to shore, I’d, first love my mother, then, my dog some whom I’d had for fifteen years within six short months. Back then I’d, feared the coming of the nights, with me alone, in this, old apartment that’s, over thirty years in age, with the traces of those two elderly left behind all over the house.
The long couch, was where the two of them would snuggle up together, to watch television, the small dresser drawer in the bedroom, where my mother had, her own, special stash of snacks, and, whenever I wasn’t watching them, she’d, taken a handful, thrown it into her mouth, then, given the dog a bite. Sometimes, when I’d caught the two of them, I’d stated, “Aha! Caught you! What are you two eating?”, and I saw my mother, keeping her calm, told me, “it didn’t matter what we’re snacking on, the important thing is, that the two of us, grandmother and grand dog son are happy, snacking together!”, then, after she’d said that, the two of them, gazed into one another’s eye4s, then, continued, to share this, too sweet secret.
And, in the rocking chair by the window, my mother played on her recorder, with the dog “singing along” to “Friar Jacques”………
The memories, with the loneliness, were hard-hitting, I was, deadlock, in this, sea of sorrow and lost, can’t ever, get myself to the shorelines. Back then, I’d finally realized, that what we’re supposed to learn in life, is so very, difficult! In the silences of the nights, the geckos climbing up on my walls, making the barely audible sounds, it made me feel, comforted, letting me know, that at least, I’m, not alone.
That dark night, I still, couldn’t, fall asleep, and, the house next door that’s, been vacant for a very long time, came the voices it’s the wife and the young child, holding conversations, and there were, the sounds made by their dog. They’d not lived here for awhile, but, don’t know why, they’d, moved back now. The dizzying yellow glow from the light came through the screen door, with the clinking sounds of the pots and pans, the aromas of food being cooked on the stove, along with, the voices that came and went, talking of, their, ordinary lives, it’d, made me feel, that sense of, security now, and I was, able, to fall asleep more soundly. The cacophony which I normally took to be, an annoyance, now became, something I’d looked forward to hearing nightly, helping me through, these, darker nights of, my life.
illustration from UDN.com
Not long ago, I’d, gone to the roof to water the plant, I’d, met this woman, we’d, greeted one another out of courtesy, and as she’d, learned that my parents, and my husband had, all been gone, she’d asked me, how I’d, passed through, my stages of, grief and loss? I’d, half jokingly told her, that I “eavesdropped” into the goings on of her house, and the sounds of foods cooking on her stove to help me through these, long and hard nights. And, she’d, shared with me something that’s personal, that’s happened to her too, she said, that many years ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and in a very short time, she’d, lost her marriage, then her health one by one, and, she didn’t know how to cope, facing up to her own cancer, and her two teenage children, she became, anxious, lost sleep every single night then. Back then, I’d often played the song “You Raise My Up” by Westlife, and the song made her find the strengths to carry on, and she was able to, get through her painful treatment phases, and now, she’s, cancer free.
We were originally, strangers, but, due to our thoughtless acts, we’d, become one another’s, best companions when we’d needed each other to be, and, in the countless nights of our separate sorrows, we’d, found the warmth of the light from one another. We’d both, cherished this, kindness we’d shown to one another, but we’d not, shortened the distances of how we start to relate to each other, when we’d bumped into one another on the rooftops, or on the streets, we’d still, nodded toward one another, and smiled as acknowledgement, but in our smiles, there’s, that scent of, “everything is beyond words” sort of a feeling.
And so, this, is when someone touched your life, without that she was, doing so, and you’d, touched hers too, without realizing it, and the two of you, are still, just, acquaintances, and don’t feel the need, to increase your interactions, because, knowing that you’d, helped one another, through the toughest parts of your lives, was enough for the two of you.