On the terminal care of our, aging parents, translated…
A couple of years ago, there was a bestseller, “Don’t Think You Still Have Twenty Years with Your Parents, There’s Only Actually, Just Fifty-Five Days that’s, Left”, there was a formula in the book: if your parents are sixty, they will have twenty years left, and, you don’t live with them, if you go back home to see them once every other week, and stay at home for two hours. And, on New Year’s Eve, you’d, stayed two days, seven hours each.
Then, the calculated time you have with your parents, are about, 1,320 hours, and, that’s, about, fifty-five days! If your parents are older than seventy, there are only, ten years of life left, and, based off of this formula, you may not, have even a whole month to spend with them.
Yes, don’t think, that you still have forever, to be with your parents, and when you go home, you’d, thrown that tantrum at them, and sometimes, as work got too busy, you’d, called them up instantly, saying, that you can’t, make it back this week, and they’d had to, stared at the tables’ worth of prepared foods. And, if you knew, that you have, less than a month with your parents, wouldn’t you want to, do more things with them?
From as I started my entrepreneurship, I’d, stayed in the shop, and, there would be the customers who walked in, out of curiosity, and as they walked around, they’d, gotten red in the eyes by the time they leave, id’ asked them what’s wrong, and many had replied, “I never knew a shop like yours existed, my parents are both gone, and, there’s, no use for these items anymore.” There was, the tone of regrets in their, voices, I also, felt, sorry for them too. A few days ago, there was another customer who’d, wanted his mother to receive the terminal care at home, and needed an electric bed, but, as the bed was about to get shipped out, he’d told us, that he’d not, needed the bed anymore, because before he could get his mother home, she’d, died at the hospital. There are, more instances like these, as the children finally realized that their parents need them, they can, fulfill their, filial piety duties toward them anymore.
We don’t have control over a lot of things, but, we can, be prepared. Being prepared, I don’t mean by getting ready for your own parents’ deaths, or, the plans for the final affairs either, all of these, may need to plan ahead, but I feel, that as the offspring, if you can’t even, give your elderly parents the good life at home, which is, the basic of all, living standards. In truth, as we age, the body would, get to a point, that there’s, a need for the assistance, to help with the daily lives, so they can be, more convenient in living, safer, like how when we became nearsighted, we’d, needed glasses. As the deterioration process may cause the elders to become, immobilized, it can also, impact the means of, communication, and sometimes it may be, an issue of, safety in the living environment. As you head home once every other week, you can observe if your parents exert the following, perhaps, it can, help you prepare a better living environment for them.
Do you need to raise your voice talking to them? As their hearing deteriorates, it’s, normally the start of their, severing themselves off from the rest of the world, there are, a ton of hearing aids to help those with mild hearing impairments, and you don’t need to get loud talking with them, like you’re, fighting.
Does the elder have difficulties standing back up after sitting down? Or that s/he doesn’t want to stand back up, after sitting down? Other than watching the diets, and exercises, add in more nutrition, to increase the muscle tones, there are now, the machines to help the elderly get up out of bed, to go to the bathrooms.
Do your elders find that lack of enthusiasm when you asked them to head out with you? That they only wanted to, camp out on the couch and watch television all day long? This may be due to how they are having troubles, standing up for a long time, or that they may worry of being, incontinent. There are now, a ton of fashionable wheelchairs, walkers, canes, that helps them get around more freely, there are, the chairs that they can sit on when they need a rest. And, there’s, the inventions of water-absorbing pants from Japan, designed, especially for the elders with the problems of, incontinent, it’s ventilated, doesn’t stick, and doesn’t feel like diapers.
When the elders needed help getting on and off bed, sometimes, they’d worried that at night they may fall off, the basic electric bed can help with that, if there’s a need for it, Long-Term Care 2.0 can help with paying for it partially; if you don’t want to get a new bed, there are, the simpler beds with the railings on the sides, that can help the elder to get up, or to prevent them from falling off.
The elders became, unsteady, needed the railings, or the handicap mobile routes, there may be a need for these railings in the bathrooms, the living rooms, the entrance of the house, to get rid of the obstacle for them, to get around better.
Just use your heart, there are, a lot of other things that our parents may need that can be understood from observations, rather than finally giving them what they need when they needed the long-term care assistance, if you can, start setting up the necessities of their elderly needs early, no matter how many days you may have left, with your own parents, there won’t be, any, regrets left behind.
And so, the key point in all of this, is not just trying to make the aging parents’ lives easier, but to make sure, that as the offspring, we’d done, everything we could, to help our parents, age as gracefully, as they are able to…