A Love that Left Us Flustered, on Parent-Child Interactions

Knowing when to stop prodding your children, to tell you what’s wrong, is in both of your best interests, if you want to, establish that strong bond with your children, especially in the teenage years, translated…

Recently, I’d read a passage online, “Moms all have this shared condition, when you tell them which food you liked, they’d, frequently made that exact same dish for you, until you’d gotten tired, and started complaining to them about it.  Actually, the mothers were, merely, giving what you think is best for you, to you, suffocating you, with their love.”

Reading this, I’d recalled how my younger sister’s mother-in-law, as her son told her he wanted to eat it, she’d continually prepared the ginger duck soup for seven whole days; and, my friend’s mother, bought for him, a very expensive piece of art, because she’d heard him say something good about it, without hearing that he was, only being, courteous to the person he was, speaking with.  These two events seemed so far apart from each other, but they’re actually, one in the same, the mothers are, using everything they had, to love their young.

The hardest thing for a mother, is to have NO outlets to show her love for her young, this made maternal love seep out too easily, to become, this huge flood, or that it’s, found, and given, in the wrong situations.  As mothers couldn’t, get the desired effects of gratitude from their young after giving to them, and if the mother longed for the thank-you, and, the child showed a total lack of appreciation for the mother’s giving, then, this thinking on different levels between the mother and the child may create this, nervous tension between oneself, and one’s own young, in the end, it’d, damaged the relationship.

illustraion from UDN.comhow teens are, in interacting wtih their parents!

How to love our young, is a very difficult lesson in life, and with the coming of age of the children, the level of difficulty increases too.  My friend wanted to show her care and concern for her grown son, but, her son thought she was, invading his privacy, and that, she was, stripping away his sense of independence, which made my friend watched her own son’s reactions closely, before she started, talking to him, and she’d, felt awkward, interacting with her own son.

I don’t want this sort of an estrangement with my own children, but, as I recalled, how my son was in his teenage years a few years ago, how he’d, kept pushing me away, barring me from his life, as well as which friends he was, socializing with, I’d also, felt saddened—how did my son, who was, once, so very close to me, become this, familiar stranger after he entered puberty?  And, how come the more love I’d tried to show him, the more he’d, thrown it back towards me?

I don’t want this communication gap between him and me get greater.  I’d, examined how I interacted with him, seeing how he was, involved in the newer things, that he’d known, more than I ever could.  I’d told him, that I respect his way of life, and that I’d, trusted him, and stressed, how I didn’t want to get, axed out by the society too soon, and hoped that he could, share with us, the things that he found interesting.  As my son is already, out of his teenage rebellion phases, slowly, he’d, started sharing with me, the things, the events, the people he’d bumped into in life, and I loved this way of, interacting with him.

Naturally, as I’d, demanded this of my son, I’d, introspected too, for instance, he’d feared it when I started, nagging, and, I’d not, used age and experience to my advantage, to say “I told you so”, and giving him a chance, to express his own thoughts to me freely, most importantly, remembering, that the foundation of keeping connected between mother and children is in mutual respect.

I hope, that I will stop, loving him so much he’d, felt, flustered anymore one day.

And so, this, is how much a mother was, willing to change her behaviors, in relating to her own son, and, she’s right, on how you shouldn’t, suffocate your own young with what you deemed as love, because, children NEED the space to grow, and I’m sure, that ALL of you, adults must’ve had the experience of wanting to be left alone by your own parents in your teenage years, and, remember how UPSET you all became, as they kept on prodding you?  Yeah, that, is exactly how your own children feel too, when you push them to tell you what’s wrong too!