Who Stole My Money Away?

On the impacts of dementia on the family members who took care of the elderly, translated…

A couple of years ago, since my father-in-law passed, my mother-in-law who was mobilized, refused to let the nurse’s aide stay, she’d, rather live alone, in the newly built army retirement village, to live and interact with the neighbors she already knew, said it’s better that way, she felt, better about it.

My mother-in-law has three sons and a daughter, they’re all very good to her, would go to her home to visit, to shop for her groceries, and to take her to the doctors, to help her sort through the smaller matters of her life, the family got on really well.

One day, everything changed thought.  That day, my youngest brother-in-law came home, and, my mother-in-law who would say hi to the neighbors just got in too, she was in a good mood, because she’d won the games, as she’d spoke, she’d, pulled the winnings out of her own pocket, and went to the bathrooms, my youngest brother-in-law didn’t have anything else to do, so he’d, started counting the money, he’d told my mother-in-law, “I’d counted it all, you’d won a total of $1,400N.T.s.”  My mother-in-law smiled and took the money up, she didn’t seem any different.

illustration from the papers online

But, the following morn, my mother-in-law called up all her other children, and complained, of how my youngest brother-in-law stole a thousand dollars from her, my youngest brother-in-law felt taken, and called us all up, “no matter how I’d tried to explain it to mom, it wouldn’t work.”  I’d, reminded them all, “whether or not the money was gone is NOT the point, the odd ways of behaviors, are indicators of dementia, we all, need to, watch mom more.”

My mother-in-law treated my youngest brother-in-law like he was a thief, she kept mentioning it, and although he’d understood this was caused by her illness, but he still, couldn’t help, but feel bad, and later, it was my eldest brother-in-law and sister-in-law who’d, put up a thousand dollars each, to end the whole thing.

After that, my mother-in-law started, losing her things, and, as my husband went home, he’d always had to, help her look for it, and, once, he’d helped her find the ring from my father-in-law, and afterwards, my mother-in-law told his eldest sister, “See, I knew it was him, I’d told him I’d lost it, and that, was when he’d, given it back to me.”, and, my husband was trapped, in whether to help her find the items she’d misplaced, or not to, and so, my eldest sister-in-law suggested, that she and my eldest brother-in-law will be looking for the items my mother-in-law had lost.

And yet, my mother-in-law became, more and more, suspicious, as my husband returned home, she’d, had that awful look on the face, told her, that there was, a mole in the house, the next time my husband went back, he was, treated as the thief—my mother-in-law started, locking up her bedroom too.

And, I can understand how it’d felt, that my husband was accused, because I’d, weathered through worse, I’d, taken care of my ailing parents, without taking a single CENT from my older brother who are abroad, until my father had a stroke and became mildly demented, and, it’d cost $110,000N.T. to get him a hired help and the hospital charges, the years dragging on, I can, no longer handle it, and so, with my older brothers’ consents, they’d, started, taking my father’s cash deposits to pay for his own care; or maybe, it was my father’s lacking security, he’d told everybody around him, accused me of, taking his money without his consent, it’d, damaged my reputation, I’d become, very tried and tired, and fatigued of it all, and, thankfully, I’d, kept the slips over everything that was how I’d, gotten my name cleared.

I’m glad, that my husband’s families are all very trusting and understanding toward one another, that they’d, shouldered everything that came their way, giving my mother-in-law, the best form of care, and, my husband would have to, bear with the bad rap for being a thief to his own mother then.

And so, this, is the progressions of dementia, the elderly might become suspicious, and stubborn in thought, that no matter who it is, the families can NOT persuade her/him, that nothing’s been taken from him, but that, is just, another symptom, of dementia, and, as dementia progresses, things will, only deteriorate more.