The Day I’d SMASHED Up Those Dishes, Stresses from Taking Care of Her Demented Mother

The primary caretaker of her demented mother finally, CRACKED, because she’d been under too much stress, translated…

My mother who’s demented often forgot that she was, cooking up the eggs with the pots, until the burnt smell came from the stove.  That day, as I’d gone into the kitchen, and found that she’d, burned the FOURTH pot of the year up, I’d, lost control, and smashed the dish I was holding in my hands, and, my mother yelled at me for it.

Smashing of that dish was caused by the long-term piled on anxieties I’d carried, that’s led to my “outbursts”.  But, how do I, handle it?  And so, I’d, told myself: it doesn’t matter if the pots were burned, so long as the house didn’t get burned down; but if the pots were burned, and the house went with it, so long as people in the house are all right; but, if the pots were burned, the house too, and people died in a fire, well, that’s fate’s doing, and it’ll be, out of my control.  And, naturally, there was, NEVER another instant of my melting down when my mother burned something on the stove, I’d, silently, gone out, brought her brand new cookware.  And, slowly, my mother stopped, cooking the eggs too.

the stresses of taking care of demented elderly person…the helplessness of the caretakers, photo from online

This is the fifth year since my mother’s been diagnosed with dementia, and my worries became, calloused to.  Watching the closet-full of items she’d stashed inside her closets, other than the clothes, I’d, left those cups of coffees I was drinking behind me, and, she’d called me a thief, for taking her things, to put them up for her, I’d still felt a bit taken, and angered by her, but, soon enough, I’d, settled back down, to the point, I’d started wondering, did I, lose my humanity, somewhere along the way, in dealing with my mother’s dementia?

To prove that I was still kind and gentle, I’d found more time, to spend with my mother-in-law, even gone to visit my friend’s mother too, just to confirm, that I didn’t become, coldblooded at all.  And, I’d, enjoyed spending time with all of these, other elderly women in my life.

Those who are diagnosed with dementia are living in a world all their own, they’d lost the connections with others around them.  And for the caretakers, the battle we endure never ends, until one day, I managed, to pass all of my tests.

So, there’s, a whole lot of stress to the caretakers of the demented elderly people, and there’s NO way out, because she is your mother, and, all you can do, is to be there for her, when she needed you, just like how when you were growing up, your mother was there for you too.