How the parents, always have a way, of imposing their own unfulfilled dreams, onto their own young, unconsciously, subconsciously, or, CONSCIOUSLY, translated…
It’s a bad thing, to force growth, you shouldn’t even try to attempt to do it. The children will rebut back at you with their ultra sharp memories, at anytime.
Do you want to take piano lessons? “No.”
“How about violin?” “NO!”
What about tae-kwon-do, or kung fu……
“No, I~~DON’T~~~Want to!”
Before ten, we’d given our son a ton of options, and, started coaxing him, bribing him. We’d, imagined how his long fingers, tickling those ivories, and how he’d, fly kicked that wooden board in half too. You would, need to, have a hobby that you can keep for life, and it’s too important, that we start to, train our children to have one at least when they’re still young!
Once, after a ton of coaxing, he’d finally, caved, but with a soured face, he’d, allowed us, to lead him into a children’s dojo, seeing the other kids squatting in their workouts. The older coaches asked him, do you want to play with us?
And, our son had never been so decisive before. Stared the coaches down, shook his head, got up, left behind these words,
“I’m out of here!”
Then, turned, and run outside, leaving behind, his parents who apologized profusely for his behaviors. And this had, stopped our dreams, of helping him acquire a special talent.
That was when he was only eight years old, we’d thought he’d forgotten it already. Lately, his dad was interested in taking up the saxophone, and, he’d, repeated the discussions from before, asked him if he’d wanted to take up a musical instrument. And, this young man started, ranting aloud to us.
“Do you even know, how hard it is, for me, to keep on getting messed with by you stupid adults like this since I was a kid? Just like that Kung-Fu dojo, it’s actually a church’s way of spreading the words, I’d known it right off the bat, why did you guys forced me to stay there, huh?”
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! At the age of just eight, he was, too sensitive, felt and saw the unnaturalness in the atmosphere, that we adults had, missed, and, it’d, become this wake up call of us now, of how observant an eight-year-old young child can be.
illustration from UDN.com
And, when the words, “getting messed with” is so strong, he must’ve felt, the pains from some sorts of abduction. Besides, I’d, ranted to him a bit afterwards, and, it’d, made the child felt taken, and, that was how his “I’m pissed off at you” kept going until now………but thankfully, it all, got out into the open now.
There were people showing off their children’s art lessons, music classes, dance lessons, calligraphy, or every single award certificate their children had earned, I’d understood, that it’s, from the wonders of day to day living. But, if your kid isn’t talented in the arts, can’t play a musical instrument, without any specialized talents, is only average academically, you’d feel, paled by comparisons to all those, other parents who are flashing their children’s achievements online.
“Education” is an interfielded learning process, with the kids as our exam. All the parents can do, is to make sure that we don’t, FLUNK, giving our young a good example to follow, helping them acquire the right attitudes on things, the better values of life, so they can, land, in the middle of the bell curve. As for the rest, they will, find their own ways.
In high school, don’t know why, but my son became involved in the kung-fu club, he’d told me, that it was because ALL the other clubs were, full. He’d started practicing the techniques, found a coach to teach him Tai-chi, he’d started having calluses on his feet then. As he’d entered into college, he’d, turned to fencing, he was really happy, in the trainings, as well as, the competitions too, and would step back, and approach forth on his own a lot.
I’d wanted to share on FB like everyone else, how awesome he’d looked in the competitions, but he’d, refused to hand me the footages of his activities, only, let me watch it on loan, said that I had a bad record of posting things, that it’d, made him embarrassed.
The children, are NEVER the replicators of the parents’ dreams, “it’s for your own good”, is the worst kind of excuse, especially for a child who’s, born hypersensitive. Setting them free is, the best and only way, letting the air flow freely, it will, put more trust between you and your young. This, parents who are like me, wouldn’t admit that I’m a control freak, DO take note!
This, is one, for ALL you, stupid parents out there: STOP pushing your kids already, they will become, WHATEVER it is, they’re, MEANT to become, and, even IF you push your child to start their violin, art, or whatever lessons, they may not be the most prestigious musicians or the next Picasso, they may hate what they used to love, and it’s, all on Y-O-U!!!
Life, the Obstacle Course 