Taking Flight

The experiences of parents with children who were diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorders, translated…

Every Special Needs Child is Different, on the Subject of Flying, it’s, Easy for Other Children, but for You, it’s, a Slow and Gradual Process of Growth You’d, Accomplished………

I’d dreamed of taking you flying, but, can your, invisible wings, soar, against the wind too?

You’d, finally graduated out of high school in June of 2015, in special eds school, can you, embark, on the mission impossible, a graduation trip?  Giving you a piece of skies that’s, only yours, that, was what everybody advised against me on, but, mom’s sturdy will, mom’s faith will become, an invisible force.

Through the rehearsals on papers, mom had, taken six whole months, to teach you about going abroad on a trip, I’d even, taken that empty suitcase with you, to the airport, to practice too, and, we’d, set up a group of sixteen, with children with autism, flying out to the Disney in Tokyo on a five-day trip.

You’d remembered all of my words: behave yourself, follow the rules………you’d, worked hard, to abide by them, and I was, gloating inside, on how much potentials autistic children like you can have.  The only regret of the trip was that you got a cold, and started coughing really hard at night, you’d, quickly, ingested ALL the medication I’d brought, and during the day time, mom became like a hawk, sought out the pharmacies on the streets, to get you your meds, because as night fell, you’d, started, coughing, and couldn’t sleep the whole night through, and although, your cough won’t be cured yet, I’d still, administered the medications to you.

On the fifth day, before we came back to Taiwan, you’re, at the height of your, illness, you’d started coughing during the daytime then, you’d, fell, out of consciousness then.  The mom from the tour group told me, and reminded, “This wasn’t a cold, it’s, Tourette’s!”  Her son also coughed for three whole months, and, after none of the medications worked, the doctor diagnosed his symptoms as Tourette’s induced.  Suddenly, it’d, dawned on me, that you’d, worked so hard, to control your anxiety on this trip, and exacerbated your originally mild Tourette’s syndrome into the forms that I couldn’t understand, was it that, you also knew, that this was, a meaningful trip, that you couldn’t afford to, mess it up?

In April of 2016, your art, with mom’s writing, we’d, published our book together.  The purpose was to encourage the parents, to NOT give up on the angels with the broken wings, and, in sharing of my book, through the introductions of the Autism team, Hangzhou had, invited the Taiwanese moms to a book sharing, on the three day two nights, I’d taken you, with Kanner’s Syndrome, with your older brother too, the three of us, “flew solo”.  The second time abroad a plane, you’re still, not used to the pressures in the cabin, the noises from the aircraft, or the turbulences, you’d started, shaking your body, and made a ton of noises.  Due to the flight, there were, mostly, passengers from China, they saw your reactions, and they’d started questioning, “is the plane safe?”  they’d started discussing it, their fears stemmed from their not knowing Kanner’s Syndrome, but there was, nothing that mom can do, just held tightly to your hand.

The differences in culture, in space, you can, detect.  In the parent meet-and-greet in Hangzhou, you were, very anxious, the first day, you’d, gone to the activities, but, you’d started, banging on the water kegs, and rammed around; after the second day, you’d, rested in the guest rest facility that the sponsors had, prepared, hidden in the quilts all day long.

After the meet-and-greet, a dad who’d taken the eight-hour train ride and finally arrived, asked me: if you just keep on trying hard, and working hard, the child will shine through?  I’d given him an affirmative and encouragements.  The dad was, suddenly, filled with hope.  His child didn’t seem so bad, but, before he’d come to the seminars, he was, at his wit’s end, as he saw my daughter who was so agitated, bring the books, flying across the straits, that was, a bedtime story, and it’d, boosted up his self-confidence.

This second time practice to fly, although not perfect, but, you’d not reacted physiologically, only emotionally, you’d seemed, a bit, distressed compared to when we were in Taiwan; and if you had, given a confidence boost tot eh parents in China, then, all of that sense of loss, all of your wayward behaviors through the trip was, more than worth it.

In October of 2017, the moms had another Star Group of seventeen, we’d gone to Macau for three days, because the children are very different, unfitted for a self-planned trip, and so, we’d, rented a car, gone everywhere together.  There was, a family of four, with the eldest son who was autistic in his twenties, that was his first time abroad, not only were his parents anxious, his older brother who was a police officer also took a leave of absence to accompany him.  On the way back, the dad who’d not spoken a word to anybody else for the three days told me, briefly, “This trip, my son behaved very well, I’m, really moved.”

I understood that what this family gained, was way more than what they’d paid, for the trip.

This time, you’d, become, like an ordinary traveler, not only did you come along on everything we’d done as a group, you could also, experience the 5D shows that lasted for thirty minutes, and, gotten into the loud performances, you’d, impressed me, with your huge change; the kids who couldn’t speak, give them the time, and the practice, will become, very outstanding too.

The third time, you’d, checked in your own luggage, passed the customs on your own, had your own style already.

In January of 2018, we’d broken through, gone on a regular tour to Huangshan, this was a small group of twelve members.  On the third day, mom sprained her ankle, needed two canes, to help me hike through the mountains, couldn’t care for you.  Even so, you still became, the best behaved tour member of the group, knowing that mom’s injured, you’d, followed the flag of the tourguide, didn’t get angry, didn’t break any rules.  And, because of how well behaved you were, it’d, moved everybody, there were, three families that confessed to us, one, whose older sister had a severely autistic child of nearly age thirty, but the sister chose to stay by the son’s side, never going out; another mother told us her son has Asperger’s, but she refused to face it, and couldn’t, communicate with her own son, another good friend also has a child at home, but the parents chose to keep the child out of public’s eyes, so, this is, autism.

illustration from the papers online…

Every special needs child is different, on taking a flight, this may be, very simple for others, but for you, you’d gone through, the metamorphosis to finally get to where you are.  From feeling so nervous, over millions of cells probably died in me, to finally, take you up above into the air, from expecting that we shall, fly out together, as mother and daughter, you’re not the only one who’d, “walked out” of the guarded body and mind, you’d also, helped me, break out of my cocoon too.

These invisible wings, flying against the wind, although, they’re not, beautiful to look at, but, all the glitters, as we’d looked back, became, more than precious.  We’re still, very far, from the other side, of safe, happy, and perhaps, we’ll, never get there, but, at least, we’d, started, on this journey he towards it.

And so, this showed, how improvement comes in smaller chunks, like this young woman’s mom, who’d, taken her daughter, step, by step, introduced her to the trip abroad, from how she’d started, panicking that very first time, to not, being able to feel calmer, the improvements are visible, but, parents must be very patient, as these children have a different pace…