How modern day Asians are being, trapped by the beliefs of filial piety, in this era of need for long-term care, from the Newspapers, translated…
Kao was recently considering quitting his job, to go home to care for his demented elderly father, although he’d worried about the lacking of the income, but, he was from a huge family, there were, a ton of criticisms that came from his relatives, it’d, pressured him. Ming’s father who had a stroke abandoned his wife and children at an earlier time in his life, they were as close as father and son, but, because of the gossips from the neighbors, Ming was, forced to look after his own father. Ming-Huei placed her demented mother into a nursing home, but, she’d cried days and nights, about feeling she didn’t, do right by her own mother, leaving her in a long-term care facility.
As these situations surfaced, I’d often asked, “is this the best arrangement? Are you, really fitted, to be, the caretaker of someone who’s, demented, or incapacitated? Do you have any professional training as a caretaker? What are you going to do about your economics? But, the sad thing is, that a lot of people who’d, managed themselves quite well at work, when it comes to caretaking of one’s own ailing elderly, they’d, had no idea of how to handle the matter, lost their heads.
Making it Hard on the Caretaker, and Trying the Elderly Being Cared for
Long-term care, is a profession that tries the physical abilities and endurance, and it’s, against human nature to NOT consider one’s own abilities, before putting one into the actions of caring for one’s own aging and ailing elderly parents.
This is a classic form of “abduction of filial piety”, the entire society is being hypnotized and pressured by the beliefs of “looking after our own parents is doing the best by them”, and so, the children didn’t DARE say NO, to the beliefs of needing to take care of their parents because they raised us; the elders used being looked after by their young, as an indicator of how they’re, living in glory, and the elderly lived in fear of being abandoned by their own young; and, the onlookers who aren’t a part of the caretaking used the name of “filial piety”, suppressing those who are currently taking care of their aging, ailing, demented elderly, and they can’t fight back.
Think on it, the modern day societies are no longer capable, and should NOT encourage the giving ones’ own lives up for the sake of filial piety, it’s important to become, a “smart caretaker”, knowing how to utilize the resources available locally.
For instance, a daughter who’s looking after her own demented mother asked for help from the Long-Term Care 2.0 systems, and rented the mother’s home in the rural areas for $25,000N.T., and moved her mother into her home, where there are the elevators, and a daycare center close by that costs $15,000N.T. a month, and the differences, just fitted to the daycare center’s copay amount, and in the woman’s spare time during the day, she was able to find a part-time position somewhere, giving herself that needed boost of self-confidence, with that needed extra income, “I felt I’d, come back to life again!”
“Take Good Care of Yourselves First, Then, Your Loved Ones”
After getting away from the abductor: filial piety, it only takes one thought. First, it must start with the individual, refusing to let the outside world tell us, that by caring for our own elderly parents IS the right way to repay them for raising us.
The average span of caretaking is 9.9 years, and, first, we should take into considerations, the overall wellbeing of the caretakers, “the caretakers must take good care of themselves, in order to take care of their loved ones!”
Don’t Judge How Other People are Taking Care of Their Elders
And a society that refused getting kidnapped by filial piety should set up this morale of long-term care, to push forth the movement of “relatives and friends talk a little less”. Everybody should empathize how the varied families have different needs of caretaking, to NOT point fingers, not judge, or criticize how someone else is handling the caretaking in her/his family.
Changing Your Beliefs, and Stop Trying to Win that Filial Piety Model Offspring Award
Lastly, REFUSING to get kidnapped by filial piety, this is the responsibility of the country. I do urge, that the government no longer have any sorts of an awards ceremonies for “the most fitted in filial piety”, to encourage the youngest or the longest running caretakers of the families to shoulder everything on their own, despite their own health conditions.
And so, this, is on how the ideals of Long-Term Care 2.0 is too unrealistic, and, we are, being, kidnapped by the beliefs of filial piety being the most important thing, and, just like the writer of this article stated, “if you can’t take care of yourselves, how the HELL are you able to take care of someone else?”, and, the caretakers’ wellbeing should come first, because the caretakers are the ones, taking care of the elderly in the home, and, if they collapsed, then, what’s going to happen to the elderly who are, being, taken care of? So, take care of ME, before I can take care of you too, that, should be the PRIMARY rule of any kind of caretaking!!!
Life, the Obstacle Course 