Watching over you, as you grow up, very slowly, the heart of a mother with a special needs child, translated…
A therapist once asked Bay’s grandmother, my mother, “Grandma, why didn’t you consider an abortion?” it’d angered my mother so, that Bay was NEVER going to the class again. Bay kept at his usual self, clapping, smiling, as he watched his grandmother get furious, while my younger sister and dad tried to calm her down, “Perhaps, she’s just, concerned, didn’t know there wasn’t anything abnormal about Bay!”, my mother who’s still furious turned to me and asked, “If back in your prenatal days, he was abnormal, would you still have had him?”
Will I, still have him?
I’d carried Bay full-term, he’d not cried as loud as the other infants, the circumference of his head, smaller than normal children too, at the age of four months, he’d only started, rolling his eyeballs, didn’t even have enough muscle strengths to turn his head. We’d taken him in for an MRI when he was six months, he was diagnosed with carcass hypoplasia, he is now, five years old, his intelligence stayed at a year and a half, still couldn’t speak yet, is learning to walk.
Bay’s father since he was born, couldn’t accept that he was with this rare condition, and so, he chose to leave us. The teacher at the early intervention center told, that Bay looked like a very happy child, because he smiled a lot, like every day was a good day for him; and, no matter how hard, or trying the physical therapy is, we will be able to, persist through it. I thought, that by giving Bay a ton of my love, that will, somehow, make up for the lacking of it from his father, but, he’d still use that look of envy as we walked past the father with their children, and, would take my hand, to hold with the other men’s hands. So, Bay still, missed his father, but thankfully, Bay is extremely brave.
Gladly, I have an amazing family as a support system, when I’m at work, they’d become, my best help, they’d helped look after Bay. We’d become, more cohesive as a family unit, we always engage ourselves in discussions of how much Bay had, improved, even when he’d used a spoon better, it’d, made all of cry, at how much he’d, progressed from yesterday, it’d made Bay so proud of himself and he’d, often patted his own head, as if saying, “I know I’m amazing!”
And surely, there are, moments of darkness on this road we’re on. As I’d become, too anxious to see my son’s progress in his weekly jam packed rehabilitation schedules, or how I couldn’t, even teach my son, to nod his head, the doctors would tell me, “Mom, you can’ expect to see the result of the physical therapy immediately, it’s a slow progression, what you’re doing for him, will surely help, the caretakers must have a ton of patience and stamina, never give up on him.” And every time I’d felt low, we’d used the words of encouragement of “Bay was born to us, because we have so much love to give to him”, Bay knew, I’m sure, that I will, love him unconditionally, which was why he’d, chosen me, to become his mom.
Dearest Bay, thank you for choosing to be my son, each life is an affinity, how can I let your choice go to waste? Mom has, never regretted a moment with you, nor will I, ever give up, let’s, work hard together, slowly, we shall, soar to new heights together, I’m sure.
So this, is the trials of the family with a special needs child, and, this child is, delayed on his developments, but slowly, and surely, he’s still, getting better, a day at a time, and that, is just what the families with these special needs children need to focus on, living from day to day, to NOT think too far ahead into the futures, take care of each other, love one another, in the present moment.
Life, the Obstacle Course 