https://video.udn.com/embed/news/899034
This, would be, the faces, of long-term care here right now, from the Front Page Sections, translated…
“Mama Hsiang, Ms. Kao, Grandma, Mother-in-Law, Vuvu (grandparents in the Paiwan native tongue), I’m here to see you, how fast sleep you are!”, the daughter-in-law of the Xiang family, Ching visited the Pingdong Hospital in Buli like she usually would, and, greeted her mother-in-law, by calling out all the names she was, known by to her, like calming a young child, back when her mother-in-law was still lucid, she’d always, start laughing at it.
Grandma Xiang was diagnosed with cancer six years ago, she had partial of her lungs removed last year, last year, the cancer came back, metastasized to her bones, and became incapable of caring for herself, Zheng-Feng shouldered the care of her mother-in-law completely. Two months ago, the elderly started having epileptic seizures, the cancer cells had, metastasized to her brain, she’d, moved, into the terminal ward, and, the fees for the hospitalizations and the personal caretakers cost over $70,000N.T. per month.
The Xiangs are an agricultural family, they owned a fruit plantation, Zheng-Feng and her husband needed to work underneath the scorching sun to make ends meet. Although they didn’t know how much long the medical charges will be lasting, or how much it would cost, but Zheng-Feng wired her three younger sisters-in-law who are living up north $30,000N.T. each, as payment for transportation for them to get back home, hoped that her younger sisters-in-law can come back home to Pingdong often to visit their own mother, so her mother-in-law can feel happy.
Zheng-Feng is used to think on her mother-in-law’s behalf, for instance, how she can reduce the pains and sufferings for her mother-in-law; she thought, that if her younger sisters-in-law were home often, her mother-in-law’s moods would be, lifted more, and, naturally, it would, make her mother-in-law happier.
After Grandma Xiang fell, the burdens of the fruit plantations had, impacted Zheng-Feng even more, she’d waken up at four in the morn every day, gone to church to pray from five to six, after her breakfast, she’d, headed out to the banana and the dragon fruit plantations to work, returned home by 10:30, fix up the house, gone with her husband to visit her mother-in-law, each way is twenty, to thirty kilometers drive. She’d, returned back to the fruit farms in the afternoon, and if her mother-in-law wasn’t well, then, she’d, made the trips back to the hospital in the evenings again.
Recently, it’s the seasons of dragon fruits and bananas, the prices of these produces dropped sharply, and it’d, affected the Xiangs family directly. Zheng-Feng and her husband felt okay about it, their religion had, helped them live in the moment, to cherish what they have, think positively, to rid themselves of negative thoughts and feelings too, that, is how they’re, able, to face each and every day with that optimism.
Her daughter-in-law’s optimism, kindness, understanding, Grandma Xiang noted, several times, she’d commended Zheng-Feng openly, said that she was, well taken care of, that she should call her daughter-in-law “Mom” instead.
Zheng-Feng is straight forward, she’d not held back, stated that she’d, given in to her own destiny, simply because of the kindness her mother-in-law showed to her. That interactions with others is a give-and-take, if the caretaker gets cussed out all day long, complained a lot, with lack of tolerance, nobody can take it.
Each and every caretaker would face the same problems, that never-ending fatigue, that sense of helplessness, same for Zheng-Feng too. She’d shared her own experiences, first, she’d found someplace spiritual that she can find peace in, whether it be a religion, or, just pouring her heart out to her best friends, when she felt like crying, she does it, then, wiped her own tears away, continue her life.
And, asking for help is a must, “The caretakers are NOT completely able-bodied, we must find room to breathe for ourselves.”, don’t get tied down by the traditional values of filial piety and sense of duty, and start blaming everybody. If the caretaker isn’t happy, then, it would be, even harder on the one being cared for.
“Blackie from the dragon fruit farm had been too naughty…Mrs. Chen from church had fights with her children again…”, even as her mother-in-law’s eyes were shut, like, she’d, cut off contact with the outside world, Zheng-Feng still whispered the goings-on of their lives to her mother-in-law, and, used Vaseline to massage her mother-in-law’s dried arms and palms.
Zheng-Feng said, living in the now, that, is how there would be, no regrets.
And so, this, is how this woman was kind to her own mother-in-law, and, it’s traced back to how kind her mother-in-law had been to her, that, is why, now when her mother-in-law needed to be looked after, this woman was, more than willing, to give back to her.