The custody agreements, between this woman and her ex, and, it doesn’t, look good for her, because she’d, wanted to avoid conflict with her ex, and NOT fought for more time with her own daughter! Translated…
Back when I was twenty-five, I got married, in a grand manner, the following year, I gave birth to a daughter, but before my daughter turned one, I’d found evidence of my ex-husband’s infidelity. Back then, I’d, not wanted to, entangle myself in this sort of a bad marriage; and yet, being too young, without a stable job, I can only choose to become, a weekend mother after I divorce. Working during the week, and take care of my daughter on the weekends. I’d, lived the life of picking my daughter from her nanny’s house on Fridays, and before I head off to work, I’d, sent her in, to her nanny’s on Mondays; until my daughter was in preschool, we’d still, kept up with this kind of arrangement, I’d, desperately, wanted to, make up for not giving her ample love on the weekdays, and crammed it all in, on the weekends we’d, spent together.
In this way of life, I’d, received no assistance from outside, used my measly paycheck, rented a stay in Taipei. In order to give my daughter the memories of my cooking, so she could remember what my foods tasted like, I’d, selected a rental place with a kitchen, but, the apartments with kitchens included, the prices are a couple of thousand dollars over, and, I’d, spent HALF my salary on rent. Once, it was the end of the month, and I’d, only had a couple of hundred dollars left, I’d, looked at the money I had left, and, started, crying my tears in silence. Several years passed, I’d never felt that it was hard, because I knew, this was, my own choice in life.
I’d given my weekends with my daughter great importance, but, my ex, after my daughter was older, he’d, demanded to have time with her on the weekends. At first, I couldn’t, accept this, I’d told him, that she’d stayed with him on weekdays, this was, taking away from the time I can spend with her, but he’d replied, that on the weekdays, he was always working, didn’t have time to take her out, he’d wanted to, spend time with her too, on his weekends as well.
It’s not that I couldn’t understand where my ex was coming from, in the end, I’d, agreed that he gets to take her on the odd number Sundays each and every month, and yet, as he’d, scheduled more and more activities for my daughter, we’d often engaged in that tug-of-war on who should have her for the weekends, and even as the weekends came, it was, our time to battle it out. Sometimes, my ex’s pushing towards me made me so stressed out, but for the sake of being there as my daughter grows up, I’d not felt proper, to argue with my ex, although I’d not wanted to, I’d, still, given him the timeslot.
My daughter is entering into elementary school this September, as a mother, seeing how my ex was willing to, spent time on my daughter, unlike how he’d not cared the least bit about her when she was younger, I should be, glad; but, every time the odd day weekends come, my ex would come to pick my daughter up early, and, I’d felt, my separation anxiety coming on, after all, we’d not spent enough time together as is, on the weekdays, I rarely, got to see her.
In this situation, I’d, chosen, NOT to fight my ex on how many days with her we each received, I can only, put my trust in time, that after my daughter gets a bit older, we would no longer, contact each other with my ex as the middleman, and, my connection with my daughter, should be, closer then; so long as she knows that I’d not, given up on keeping her under any circumstances, she’s, the most important person in my life, so long as she understands this.
This woman is in a dangerous spot, because, how does she know, that her ex isn’t feeding her daughter lies about her, and he’d, fought for more time to keep their daughter with him, and, the child is so very young, and impressionable, and, if the woman’s ex told her daughter, “your mother didn’t want you!”, then, the child will surely, HATE her mother for life, and, sometimes, even as the child becomes older, and the mother explains things to her, as to why this sort of an arrangement happens, the child may still only focus on how the mother wasn’t there for her when she’d needed her!
Life, the Obstacle Course 