How this elderly chose, to live out the remains of her years, maintaining her own freedom of lifestyle of her choice, translated…
That day, my mother and I went to have our meal at the restaurant nearby the park, with the glass pane window, we saw a field of green, swaying in the wind, this breeze had, grazed across both our hearts. She’d told me of the goings-on of the nursing home, with that light smile on her face.
illustration from the papers online…
This was the third year since my mother started living at the assisted living center. After her second minor stroke, although she’d not become paralyzed, but she’d become, immobilized; and so, we’d, hired a home care nurse to watch over her during the daytime, and in the evenings, my sister-in-law would look after her. In no more than half a month, my mother who’d hated troubling others told us of her decision—she’s, moving into a nursing home.
Although we’d, contemplated on this, but, so soon, and she was the one, deciding on it, I’d felt bad over it. As she’d moved into the nursing home, I was in Berlin, in my online call with my older sister, I’d showed my displease, “What’s wrong with you? Mom’s not ill or bedridden, nor is she in a vegetative state, you guys had, lost patience with her already……”, my older sister tolerated my shouts of displease, and still, followed my mother’s wishes, placed her into assisted living.
About a month later when I’d returned back, I’d hurried off to visit my mother. The nursing home was no more than one kilometer from where my mother used to live, with huge space, the flowers planted, and, in the acres that belonged to the nursing home, there were, corn, and a few mulberry trees planted, there were, two one-story buildings, with the birds, raised in the cages next, with the rows of the chairs, available for resting. My mother did not lay in the three-bedroom suite to wait for me, instead, she’d set under the roof, waited for me in peace, she’d, looked a whole lot better, compared to before I left for my trip.
socializing with other elderly residents in the home…photo from online…
“Why did you do this?”, I’d stated, still angry at her. Mom told me, “your sister-in-law is at work during the day, she’d needed to sacrifice her free time afterwork for me, and the nurse’s aide is only focused on her cell phone when she’s around, I’m better here! I have the around-the-clock caretaker, and the nursing staff too, the meals are nutritiously prepared, it’s way better compared to when I was at home alone, with no one I can talk to!” She’d told me of how she’d strolled daily as exercise, and how she’d, socialized with her classmates, no worries over anything, she’d felt very free and well.
Two years flew by, I’d not, said anything, and, as the relatives visit her there, they’d not come back, and scolded us for not fulfilling our filial piety duties, especially when she’d no longer needed her cane to walk, how her face glowed, the elders all said she’d, looked, healthier, she’d worked hard for her children, and her husband, and now, she can finally, relax, and enjoy her own life………
Mom told me, that the nursing staff cared a lot about her, and, she’d always shared with others in the home, the foods we’d, brought for her, and had helped picked out the vegetables to be prepared in the meals, and the staff member all praised and thanked her too, she didn’t have time to watch T.V. when she was younger, and now, she has a group of friends to watch the shows with her, her spirits are, lifted.
And, even as my mother’s health is improving, she’d not wanted to leave the home now, to live with us, she’d chosen a day on the weekends, to go to my younger brothers to visit with her grandchildren, and, I’d taken her out to dine on the weekdays, and my older sister would, come to accompany her from time to time, she felt, more than satisfied with the arrangements.
My older sister often told, that mom’s open attitude had allowed us not to burn on both ends, I’d not carried the grudge about it anymore, after all, it’s, my mother’s choice, she’d used her senses, and her kindness, made a perfect life in her elderly years for herself!
And, contrary to popular belief in traditional Asian societies, nursing homes are NOT a place unwanted elderly goes to live in, like for this elderly, it’s her own choice, she’d found her own independence, living in the assisted living homes, continued to stay active, socializing with others in her age group, and, there’s, NO better way to age than living out your elderly years, with ease!
Life, the Obstacle Course 