Remembering his godfather, translated…
It seemed, as though my nostalgia came, from a past life, the memories, still too clear. I’d recalled his sense of humor, his nuttiness, missed the love and affection he’d shown me during our short time together.
It was the year when I was a teen. One day, my godfather brought a ton of presents from his training in America, later, he’d asked for a blank piece of paper, a pen, with his back turned to me, he “drew” something, then, turned back to face me, showed it to me, and wanted me to tell him what I thought he drew. He’d told me, “if you can tell me correctly, then, all of these presents I brought back shall be yours to keep.” I looked hard, at that piece of blank paper, it’s, still not drawn on! He saw that question rising up in my face, he’d stated, “Hua, no need to hurry! It’s okay if you couldn’t answer, the gifts were originally, for you anyways.” Turns out, he wasn’t really, testing me, just wanted to, fool me a bit. My godfather said, “There’s some scene in it! Are you sure, you don’t see it?” I’d told him no.
Final answer, he said it was, “the picture of the cattle, grazing.” But, where’s the cattle, where’s the patch of green the cattle were, grazing on? “The patch of green was, finished off by the cattle, and the cattle, they’d, wandered off too.” He’d started, chuckling, I still couldn’t see it, and couldn’t understand what he was telling me. His dimples became more apparent now, he could always infect me with his laughter, and I’d started, feeling gleeful too.
Perhaps, there’s something else my godfather wanted to say! And yet, I couldn’t, quite get it yet, and so, I’d, changed the subject. I’d asked him, are you fearful, operating that airplane in midair? Looking at the skies, from the sky, what was it like? My godfather told me, “Flying high, looking at the skies, or looking downward, it’s a different sight every single time, it’s, quite wonderful. The blue skies, the white clouds, they’re all, oh so, beautiful!”
My godfather is a U2 pilot, not long thereafter, my godfather, took his dimpled smile, left suddenly. From that time on, his handsome, optimistic backside, stayed in my youthful age.
The next time I saw my godfather, it was at the air force cemetery in Bitan. Other than his name, that blue sky he’d flown underneath also gave him a number 0133. On his headstone it had, “………1961/age 35/out on duty/plane crashed/dereliction of duty”, I’m uncertain, if my godfather is really there, lying flat, underneath that slab, but I’d, imagined his clothes, his crests, without any ruffles or crease, still tall and handsome as ever, inside that pile of dirt, away from the sunlight.
As I slowly grew up, I’d made a date with myself, every year on his day of death, I’d, arrived at Bitan, to see the blue skies, the white clouds, and the thunders, lightnings, rain, the wind with him. And, although my heart didn’t want to, I’d still, pictured him, inside that U2 battle airplane, all alone on his own. I’d also, thrown all my happiness, all my sorrows of the year, into his chic.
It’d been over half a century since, that picture of “cattle grazing”, I’d still not seen it, but that sight became, an eternity, imprinted, inside my mind.
Past life or this one, concrete or not, didn’t seem to matter anymore. My godfather’s “art”, along with that blank on the paper, he’d, left all of it, to me. I think, that back then, he wasn’t just, playing with me. On the day he’d told me, that he’d “drawn” the pictures of cattle grazing, he must’ve, wanted to say more to me.
This is, the things, this man had, left behind, a sort of a legacy, for his godson to figure out, and, things can only be figured out, as this godson of his, age, became, older and more matured, with the added on experiences of his own life………