When the mother FAILED to be a mother, the daughter felt compelled, to become the parent in the relationship, and, there’s, NOTHING the younger generation can do about it…translated…
A letter, written by a daughter to her mother, translated…
Mom:
The phone slammed, hung up! In the angers, don’t know who’d slammed the phone first, and, ended, yet another, unpleasant conversation.
That is how the scene works: a call from me, with ALL my excitements, would always get cold with your complaints of everything, then, we’d get trapped, in the arguments of whether or not you should get seen by a physician, then, my anger started raging, and, you’d made the conclusion of—I love getting angry, and, the phone call ended, with NOTHING talked about.
Mom, I don’t enjoy getting angered, it’s because I love you so very much, I can’t bear the thought of you, living like this for the rest of your life.
illustration from the papers online…
In that era where men weighed heavier than women, having four daughters caused you to lose status in the family, and, dad who’d had endless extramarital affairs took away your smiles a long time ago; and, with the birth of our younger brother, it’d, finally, given you the status, but, the good days didn’t last long, he contracted encephalitis when he was five, then, although you’d, spent ALL the money we ever had, to save his life, his intelligent became, stagnant, at the age of five, coupled with the never-ending epileptic seizures that he had. He’d forgotten to grow up, needed to have someone close by at all times, and, your life became, tied up.
I’d thought that he was your burden for life, but when he’d contracted the Dengue Fever, you’d looked so lost, became nothing but skins and bones. Thank god, that my youngest brother, whose life was thin like a piece of paper had, won against the illness. You told me, he was your angel. Ahhhhhhhh! At that very moment, I’d, come to understand, that my youngest brother wasn’t the only one relying on you to live, that you were, relying on him, to live too, because you’d not gotten along at all with dad for long time, looking after my youngest brother became, your sole focus, the purpose of your life.
I’d complained on how you’d given ALL your love to him, left the four of us sisters, like orphans, and that was why I got mad at you, actually, I was, longing for more show of care and concerns from you; but I was wrong, you were, needing us to show you the attention, the cares, the concerns from your complaints, your sighs about life too, after all, you are, older, and tired now.
Mom, I love you, I cherish that you are around, life wouldn’t stay stagnant in the winters forever, even IF your husband never treated you well, your in-laws, never treated you kindly, in your elderly years now, I hope, that you can, have that taste of springtime again, there won’t be any more sorrows, pains inside that dictionary of your life, do love yourself, take care of your health.
I’d finally understood too, you just needed someone to listen to, not someone to offer you advice, I’m willing, to learn to become your garbage can, for you, to POUR away ALL of your miseries. I hope, that the next time we talk, the call will end in laughter.
Your Daughter
This, is enmeshment AT its worst, because the mother couldn’t take care of herself, and she’d looked after her youngest son with a condition, not paid enough attention to her other daughters, and, she’d, felt tried, and passed the scent of loss in her life, to her own daughters, and that just, isn’t right at all!!!
Life, the Obstacle Course 