Leaving the caretaking to the professionals, that way, the elderly gets high-quality care, and the children won’t have so much burden, and can continue to interact in amicable terms with one another as well as the parent in need of the caretaking, translated…
A short while ago, my mother-in-law who lived on her own had a fall and fractured her ankle, she’d become immobilized after she was discharged from the hospitals after her surgery, we’d found a nurse’s aide to stay with her to look after her around the clock, the cost is split up evenly by my eldest brother-in-law and my husband.
My mother-in-law felt bad that she’d caused her sons to put up the extra over ten thousands of dollars because of her, and that it may last for about a year and a half, and so, she’d discussed with my eldest sister-in-law, hoping that she could quit work and take care of her, and promised to pay her the exact same amount that my husband and brother-in-law was paying for the homecare nurse. My mother-in-law believed, that she felt safer, being looked after by someone she’d familiar with, and it pays her over twice what she’s currently making, part-timing at a restaurant. My mother-in-law’s “looking after everybody” idea got shot down by my eldest sister-in-law.
She’d told her straight, that although working at the restaurant is hard and pays less, with a ton of things she needed to handle, but there’s the circle of her coworkers, her friends to socialize with; and if she’d quitted her job, because it pays better, and start looking after her mother full-time, surely, she would have, a higher pay for now, but she feared, that she couldn’t, “go back” again. Plus, being outgoing as she, she wouldn’t enjoy a job that causes her to stay at home around the clock.
My mother-in-law thought that she’d proposed this plan out of caring for her daughter’s hard work, and thought, that she didn’t know any better, but I actually, supported my eldest sister-in-law’s choice. Looking after the ill who’s also one’s kin is never easy, other than having the strengths, and the stamina, the long-term staying together will surely, cause frictions.
This was from my own experiences, my elderly father who’d been diagnosed with dementia had driven everybody else at home nuts, my mother started having hypertension, and worries written over her face all the time, my older sister, when my father went out of control, refused to sleep for days on end, she’d lost control, and ask if he was the devil? Until we’d decided to “let go”, and hired a nurse’s aide, the atmosphere at my house started altering. We can no longer worry about my father’s symptoms, or my mother’s health at the same time, when everybody’s pressures reduced greatly, we can all have that smooth temper when we head home to accompany dad.
Perhaps, my mother-in-law’s condition isn’t as bad as my father’s, but, long term being the “nurse’s aide” and family, friction and conflicts are, unavoided that’s for sure. And rather than having it like that, I believe, that handing the caretaking to the nurse’s aide, can allow the patient high-quality care, and it can keep the family interactions smooth flowing, wouldn’t that be having the best of both worlds?
And so, this, is a REALLY bad idea, having someone who’s not working in the family to look after the elderly adult parent who’s having troubles living on her/his own, because there’s the issue of professionalism, the family member, unless s/he is trained, certified in caretaking, then, there’s bound to be problems, and there’s the other issue of family being too close, and, we just don’t mix business with personal, because that can have dire consequences…