A letter, from a mother to her daughter, apologizing for pushing her too hard when she was, younger, translated…
Cindy:
“Nose, Eyes, Cheek………” back when you were still quite young, you’d known the parts of your body in English and yet, back then, you were only two years of age, and now, twenty-two, and that forcefulness about you, had taken the place of your cute, intelligent, youthful innocence.
From the very first day you’d entered into the university, at the Freshmen orientation, you’d, insisted to NOT sit with those in your major, said that you’ll hear, just as clearly on the last row of the lecture halls. I looked at the professors, interacting with the various majors, getting high with the audience, and you’re, still the same old you, quietly, observing, everything that’s, going on all around you; in the end, when it came time to select the extracurricular activities, it seemed, as though you were, trying, to make up for how I’d, called you back to your studies while you were on the courts, shooting the hoops, you’d selected to be a part of the basketball players, and had trained until eleven every evening then turn home, you’d used your sturdy body, your tan spots, to rebel silently.
And now, you’re, on the verge of graduation, I have, NO right, to intervene into your future plans now, through that note, you’d, told me of your own expectations, that you wouldn’t, let me down.
My dear child, do you know it, that as I’d asked you what is the face of good parents according to you, you’d thought awhile, then told me that it was your English teacher when you’d attended an all-English preschool. He’d left his own home country in his twenties, to come to Taiwan to experience life; he’d once worked on Wall Street, and chosen to go to Wheeler, Canada, to experience living in nature. Luckily, the property he’d bought in Wheeler was on the rise, same amount as what he’d worked on Wall Street his previous years for, you said, that you’d not wanted to use the internet at their house, because everything else was, interesting enough.
This sort of a family, I wanted one too!
I’d lost my father in my teens, your grandmother raised me from the hardships, in the time, she was grieving, and, I’d worried that I’d not shown her enough care and concerns, and when I’d gone off to college, I’d stood in line at the public phones, to call her by the day, asking how she was, I’d also, envied other people’s families too, but I accept, the arrangements that fate had for me, I’d even told your grandmother, “I’m more than blessed, to be your daughter.”, it’s because of you, I’d learned tolerance, and mercy.
The times are changing, if mom had given you too much pressures from before, I’m willing, to apologize to you, I thought, that doing well academically will help you have a brighter future; if I’d known, that this would put the distance between us, I wouldn’t pull that basketball player, shooting the hoops back to the desk to study.
If it’s okay, can we, begin again, start all over, at square one, is that, possible?
Mom.
And so, this, is on how you’d, pushed your child too hard, to succeed academically, ignoring what she wanted, and now, you’d, slowly come to the realizations, that it’s HER life, and SHE has the right to live it how she wanted to, and hopefully, it won’t be too late, for you, to patch things up with your college age daughter………