A Jacket

Sometimes, a jacket, is just a jacket, but, sometimes, people tend to assign the emotions that may not be there to the actions for some reasons, and this woman learned about herself, from this interaction with a guy from her college days, translated…

The year I’d met D, I was just entering into college, he was too, very quiet, the eyes behind those glasses were always, smiling gently. At the freshmen orientation, we were placed in the same group, and, after the two nights three days activities, we’d, come to know one another, more or less.

After the activities we’d become, acquaintances, especially for a couple of us roommates, we’d gone out together from time to time. As college students, we’d all gone to the karaoke’s and sang through the nights, or have those foods at the food shops, and we’d usually hung out until the midnight hours. Actually, I’d not held an interest in these things, but, perhaps, it’s the loneliness, that’s made me agreed to going each and every time my friends asked me.

like this???…photo from online…

One evening in October, after we’d had supper, they’d started discussing where to hang out next. The smokes and the grease from the cooking was really troubling me, I’d gotten annoyed, and excused myself from the group. As I’d just gotten outside, D followed after me, said he will give me a lift. I can’t help but laugh, where did the chivalry came? I’d shaken my hand, said he didn’t have to. But he’d become, insistent, said that he was taught by his elders to. And so, I can only, nod, and, walked along, into the depth of the nights, with this, acquaintance.

I’m shy, and, although I’d always followed my classmates out to hang, I’m usually, someone that split up the checks with. D was different, he’d gotten along with everybody, and, when needed, he’d chimed in, and became the life of the party. I’d observed him a while, and found, that he was, more like an older brother who’d, looked after all of us.

Naturally, we’d only taken a few steps, and he’d started, “Every time I see you, I’d felt, you were, lethargic, is everything all right?”

I’d said, a hesitant “fine”, then, we’d both, fallen silent. Walked along, and thought about how awkward I’d become, I’d, hated this rash, running around town, partying, but, it seemed, that I was, so afraid of, offending someone, and just, followed along. Suppressed the self, and worked hard to get accepted, in the end, I’d not, really felt that I was, a part of the group, and I’d also, betrayed my self too. Am I only, working to become, a chameleon going to college?

like this???  Not my illustration…

In the daze, the night air became cold, and I’d, sneezed. D immediately handed me his coat, and, toward his kindness, I’d not, said no. We’d walked to my dorm, I’d given him the coat back, he’d smiled and took it, and, don’t know what inspired him, but he’d told me, “Put on the clothes that will keep you warm, and, stop caring about how you’re, perceived by others.”, then, he’d, waved his hand goodbye to me.

I was inspired by his words, and, said goodbye to that group of friends with whom I don’t feel the connections with, and, lost contact with D too.

And, many years ago, I read an article that said, if a girl has a crush on a guy, then, she would go and borrow his coat to wear. At that very moment, D’s light smiles came back to mind. Perhaps, not every jacket has that feeling attached to them, it can be like how D handed his jacket to me, a kind and gentle show of ordinary concern.

And so, this, is what connected with you many years after that evening, and, the guy saw that you were, uncomfortable hanging out with the group, that was probably why he’d walked you home, to get you to tell the truth about yourself, to you, not to him, and, you’d learned, that you have to stay true to you, and NOT just comply with what others expect you to do, and that, was this important lesson in life that this guy taught you when you were in college.