Seeing the Depressed Child Inside

Psychology of healing up the self here, excerpt from a book, translated…

Does it Often Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough, and You’d Felt Unsettled in Interpersonal Relationships, Having Difficulties Trusting Others? Or How Every Time a Situation Surfaces, You’d Run Away, or Gotten Angered, or Just Wanted to Please Others? Actually, the Reason Why This is Happening, May Be Caused by that Inner Child Who’s Depressed, Trying to, Control You Stealthily.

The Depressed Children Each Carried Their Different Creed

If we want to resolve the issues in our lives, we’d needed to dig into a level of depth. For this, allowing that depressed child within all of us to speak up is most important. That way, we can know our weaknesses, or, the detonation point.

A lot of people don’t want to be in touch with their own personalities, don’t want to get in touch with that part that’s been hurt, or are in fear. Actually, this is an all too normal defense mechanism, it’s not hard to understand at all. Think on it, who would be willing to feel the sorrows, the fears, or even, desperate? It’s only normal, that we all want to, evade from feeling all of these negative emotions, and shift towards the more positive emotions like happiness, bliss, or love. And because of this, a lot of people would, suppress their own feelings of hurt; or, in other words, whenever that depressed child wanted to speak up, people would, shoo it away. But the problem being, the behaviors of those depressed inner children are EXACTLY like the children in real life. The more a child is being neglected, the more s/he would want adults’ attention. And the on the contrary, if what a child cared most for is cared about, then, s/he would happily stay close by the adults, and play on her/his own contently.

what is, hidden, inside the adult you!  not my art…

Same for that depressed child in all of us. If her/his fears, shame, or anger aren’t allowed to be expressed clearly, then, they will keep on, staying put inside our subconsciousness, and, wreak havoc as the adult selves aren’t aware. Then, the following is likely to happen: that child who wasn’t loved, who’d been suppressed, that depressed child would often work her/his hardest, to get out, to instill her/his anger, into some interludes in one’s life, and explode.

The Creeds Which are the Frontiersmen of Emotions

The literature of professional psychology suggested, that the personality of the “inner child” only included the emotional aspects. But, in my opinion, the “inner child” (with a sunny and a gloomy child) personality also included the “creed of what’s within”.

And, all of these creeds are the frontiersmen of an assortment of emotions. Like described above, these creeds are deeply rooted, and, they’d shown the secrets of ourselves in realms of our self-worth, self-value. For instance, if a child believed that s/he is accepted by one’s own parents, then, s/he will then develop the creed of “I am love”, “I am cherished”, “I am important”. And, all of these creeds, are going to, enforce the development of that sunny child that s/he has.

On the contrary, if a child believed that her/his parents are cold, and kept her/him at a distance, then, this child may develop the belief of “I’m not loved,” “I’m a burden”, “I’m awful”, and it’d, helped that depressed inner child grown big. And, although these creeds were formed in our younger childhood years, they will be rooted deeply, inside our subconscious, and, became internalized as a part of how we functioned in life, until we’re all grown up, and they’re still, exerting their effects, and affected our thought processes, our ways of understanding the world, our feelings.

illustration from the papers online…

I want to use an example to show how these creeds worked. Michel has a mother who’d disregarded what he’d wanted and him too. There are also two younger siblings in his home, the parents worked together in and owned a bakery. The mother took a lot of pressures, and, giving the care and love to her children had, exceeded the realms of what she was capable of. As for their father, he wasn’t able, to make up for the lacking of what his wife couldn’t give to the children, because just like her, he’s, busy at work too. In Michel’s emotion and psychological states, his parents were always absent, and so, he’d always felt defeated, in relating to himself and when he’d needed to increase his own self-worth, and it’d made him believed, “I’m awful”, “I’m unimportant”. And, all of these creeds are still, affecting the areas in his life to date. Every time he’d felt ignored by people, that depressed child would start screaming, “Not again! I’m really awful!”, when his mate, Sabrina (almost) didn’t pay enough attention to him and tailored to his wishes, Michel would sink quickly, into this irrational anger, and, the cause of his anger, are all the creeds he’d formed, internalized since he was a young child.

Although Sabrina’s parents cherished and protected her, but at the same time, they’d, demanded very highly of her. On right and wrong, they’d, set a strict value. She’d often felt she wasn’t able to please her parents, because the parents would make her feel awful, than love her more. And, in the realms of receiving the praises and elevating her own self-worth, she’d felt defeated and damaged by her own parents, let alone, mentioning her strive for independence, and the need to become her self. And so, that depressed child inside Sabrina had come to believe: “I’m inadequate”, “I need to submit to others.”

like this???  Found online…

 

And, from the above analysis, we can easily imagine, how the depressed children that are inside Sabrina and Michel would, interact. Michel or his inner depressed child’s anger, along with his being overly critical of Sabrina’s minute mistakes would deeply impact the depressed child who lives inside Sabrina. She would feel belittled, useless, and limited by others. And, the depressed child in Sabrina would get angry, and cry, and verbally insult to react to all of these feelings. And so, their arguments would rage on, like that wildfire across the plains.

Creed is similar to our “psychological functional systems”. This sounds very simple, but, it would, exert a great force in our lives, just like in that depressed child we all have, whether it be good or bad. “Creeds are the glasses with which we can see the truth clearly”. And so, work on getting to know them, that, would be the most important thing we have to do in our lives.

This is like that Japanese psychologist or psychiatrist’s book on attachment, because one of you is unstable (insecurely attached), and the other one of you also have your insecurities from time to time (b/c you are also, not securely attached yet!), and that, is why when those TWO inner children start interacting together, troubles occur, because, neither one of you is adult mature enough, because you never took care of the needs of that neglected baby girl or baby boy from your younger years, because you were NEVER loved using the RIGHT measures by your own TWO PRIMARY attachment figures (hello, hello, hello??? I do NOT have to go over all of that again, do I???), and, that is why, you’re having troubles in your romantic/interpersonal relationships right now, and, everything IS still, TRACED back to the childhood years, and now, you’re, adults, but you don’t have the ability, to LOVE that child that’s currently crying so FUCKING (and your point being???) L-O-U-D inside of you, you can’t take care of her/him properly, and so, s/he will, keep on demanding your attention, until you all finally, figured out how to DEAL with that child that was, abused and/or abused AND neglected by her/his own two god DAMN parents, and, because they never loved you, how the FUCK can you, love your own young, and this shitting VICIOUS cycle still gets passed down, just like DNA!