Learning that GRADES don’t make the M-A-N, a vital lesson for someone who teaches, translated…
On a gathering of parents and children, I’d heard the following conversation. The mother encouraged the child to improve her/his placement, a bit, farther, and a small bit, farther still, at which time, the child said with great displeasure, “Mom, you only wanted me to take the first place, what place were you when you were in school? Did you always, get the highest score in your classes?”, I couldn’t help, but smile as I’d heard.
I’d told my son when I got home, he’d asked, “You’re a teacher and knew how to teach, you must’ve, made very high grades in school, right?” “Hmmmmmmmmmmm, but, I got into grad school with the lowest scores.” My son who is in a major related to mine back when, showed an immense interest in my grades, he’d said, “Mom, you’re not last, you’re, second to last!” What? I thought I was the last, for over twenty years on end, and that was when I’d, discovered, that I wasn’t, last place at all, although, I’d beaten that former classmate of mine by decimals of a point, the two of us still laughed so hard, because of this, “accidental” graduation of mine.
As I’d just started teaching, I was on the verge of breaking. Plus, the classes I’d needed, was completely, unrelated to my studies back in college, and there wasn’t cram schools that could, help me out, and, there was, a very slim chance of me passing, and even IF I’d gotten into the major, there’s, no way I’ll be able to, catch up to the grades. I’d understood firsthand, what it felt like, to NOT have the fundamentals down, and experienced the worries, of not catching up to the rest of my classmates, and, with the defeats, gnawing away at my self-confidence……………and so, that was, what it’d, tasted like, being, the LAST place.
This experience of “being last” turned out to be the most precious gift during my graduate studies———it’d made me carry that empathy, to accompany those students who’d not done well in their studies. As I’d returned back to the classrooms, I’d started, focusing my care and concerns on the kids on the bottom half of the class. For my coworkers, who’d cared too much over the placements of their classes, these students who’d not done well scholastically, became, troubling, and if the teachers ignored them, and the students are weaker in interpersonal relations, they’d easily, fallen through the cracks, and the parents will get angry at them easily, for not doing well enough in school too.
And because I’d personally experienced such, and I was blessed, to be in a role of helping to guide the students in their studies, I’d, helped them, with my empathy intact, hoping, I can, pull them out. “The true meaning of education, is helping some people, to guide the noble side of themselves so they could shine”, that, is what I’d, wanted to, achieve.
I really want to tell all those parents who cared only about the placements, that even if your kids were the last in their classes, it’s still, meaningful. Being in “last place” is only a temporary thing, meaning that you’re not good at something. As parents, you shouldn’t, get angry and scold your young, instead, you should, help them out of the valleys of lows in their lives, to help them feel better emotionally, to find out where the point they’re not performing well is, and help them get better at it.
As a person who’d scored the lowest in class, I’d not felt, embarrassed, instead, I’d, shared this experience with my son, and it’d given us both, a brand new interpretation of what “being the last” means.
So, this, is a VITAL lesson for ALL school teachers, just because a kid in your class doesn’t do well, that doesn’t mean that s/he is, STUPID, s/he may just be smart, in other ways, that can’t be “tested”, through all those multiple choice, true/false, fill-in-the-blanks type test questions!
Life, the Obstacle Course 