Trapped, by her mother’s severe depression, she’s, stuck! The downside to how when parents “USED” their own young as their “significant other”, translated…
I’d met up with my old friend, and I’d felt worrisome over the life she’d had these past couple of years.
Last year, my old friend’s mother who could no longer put up with her mother-in-law’s long-term verbal abuse, finally left home, and started, locking herself up inside her own place, cried for days and nights on end, and, in her insistence, her mother was, diagnosed with depression.
Because they’d not wanted to alert or alarm any other relatives, her mother insisted on moving into an older apartment. And, the family couldn’t understand why they’d separated themselves from the rest, and so, they’d, SEVERED off all contact with all relatives. On New Year’s Eve, they’d bought the simple packed meals at the super convenience shops, and, made that their, New Year’s Eve meals.
Turning on the T.V., to add more noises to their too quiet house, but, they just, can’t pretend, that nothing was the matter. Each channel had the New Year’s specials on, and, on every channel, there was, a celebration on, contrasting to how lonely and how lost they are.
My good friend told me, that she’d hoped, that she could, skip this New Year’s, that maybe, she’d felt, a little better. Her mother, who was, trapped in the abyss of her own emotions, didn’t even, appreciate her company one bit, only complained to her endlessly, along with the tears that came, out-of-control, with the screams and shouts. As her friend, all I can give to her, was my company, and my willing ear to listen. Encouraging her to get her mother into treatment, as well as counseling too, and I’d, reminded her, that she needed to, care for herself more, to find a way to de-stress effectively, because only when she loved herself eternally, will she have a more positive attitude, to help influence her own mother to do the same.
I’d told her, to take care of oneself, the family of origin, as well as work, is no easy thing. That our emotional states are constantly fluctuating as is, that she can slowly, shift her own thoughts and beliefs toward a more positive direction, that there’s no need, to force herself, or her mother, to become positive and optimistic all of a sudden.
As we said our goodbye, I’d, given her a big hug, hoping, that she can, help herself, find the strength to love herself back first.
So, this, is how we affect one another in the family, and, I’m sure, that the mother here didn’t meant to DRAG her own daughter down, it’s just, that the daughter became the mother’s “significant other”, and, acted, as her own mother’s confidant, because the mother was probably cut off from the outside world after she was married, and with the displease between her and her mother-in-law, and so, everything just, piled up inside of her, which was what caused her mother to become severely depressed, and, this person needs to find an effective outlet, like calling up this friend to chit-chat, to get things off her chest from time to time, or, the woman will get sick, and then, she will be, NO good to anybody, including herself, because we ALL need to take care of OURSELVES (as we ARE #1 in our lives???), before we have the energies, to take care of anyone or everybody else we cared about!
Life, the Obstacle Course 