From a blog in Chinese, translated by me…
After watching the T.V. personnel, the movie stars going around once, I’d summed up, that those who’d still believed in using physical punishments on the younger generations shared these, same blind spots:
First, they’d not realized, that children are, people too.
Second, the adults failed to realize that children are, developing being who are, in need of guidance.
Third, they’d, failed to realize the importance of roles of parents to children’s lives.
It’s not really difficult, understanding the concepts of viewing children as people. Those who’d, mistreated children, usually knew, that children aren’t, physically, emotionally, or psychologically, mature, and wanted, to take advantage of them. When a society is mature enough, then, it should, provide enough discussion space, to make the public realize, which way is right, in teaching the younger generations.
Children have, various goals of development, during various stages of their lives. From birth to three years of age, the emotional core is still under development, children are still, learning, to identify the various emotions they’re, experiencing. And, because of their not-yet-developed frontal lobes, they can’t quite reason, tell time, have sound logic, or directions yet.
At this period, children needed unconditional support, and guidance from their caretakers. Children needed to, develop that sense of security, they needed to know, that parents are, their safe place forever. Children, at this age, are also learning the connections between their bodies, their feelings, and, their emotional experiences.
Destroying the toys of a child, to TEACH her/him something, this, is unreasonable. It’s merely, a use, of violence, using the excuse of being, civilized.
The way the adults poisoned the children, using an assortment of measures, to make the child learn to fear.
But, what, constitutes as, abuse? When the developing children, were most in need of the parents’ loves, they’d used violence, threats, and aversions, to satisfy their own desires, forcing the young children, to cope with the hardships of life at the very start of their lives, the child started feeling ambiguous: the person whom s/he loves the most, is the one whom s/he fears, the most. And the damages from this, is long-term.
We will never find others, such as our parents in our entire lives. After the primary caretaker twisted the way the children trusts, the adults in their world, as the child grows into adult, s/he will have intimacy issues. Not that these issues can’t be, resolved, but, it will be, quite difficult to. After we had, accompanied so many adults, in healing up their injuries from their, childhood years, I just want to say: STOP hurting the children already! Healing is hard as it is, stop hurting us!
And so, this, is what this, sexually abused man had, finally learned, not forgiveness, because you can NEVER, forgive those who were supposed to protect you, from raping you, but, you can, forgive yourselves, for being too young, for being, too helpless, it wasn’t your faults what had happened, and, this is still, a very LONG road to recovery, and, many of us had been on this road, since we can recall, I’d finished my own life, in twenty-SEVEN FUCKING (and your point being???) years, finally! Had you, finished, healing yourselves up yet???
Life, the Obstacle Course 