Another entry from the Caretakers’ journals, translated…
After reading through the couple of articles in December on caretaking of elderly who’d lost their abilities, it’d made me recall back to eight years ago as my husband fell ill.
My husband who was diagnosed with laryngocarcinoma, he had the feeding tubes, and I’d bought the liquid nutrient drinks and made the nutritional liquid meals for him, and feed him through the tubes once every three hours, and sometimes, as the foods got in, he’d spat it back out again. His weight loss clearly showed how malnourished he was becoming, I’d discussed the alternatives with the oncologists, and so, we’d decided the intravenous injections of high protein substances to increase his energy, and during that period, the hospital became a kind of a home away from home for us.
Every single day and night, I’d acted as his nurse’s aide, accompany close by. The cancer cells had, metastasized and it’d made him in pain he couldn’t speak, and smacked the beds hard repeatedly, to show how painful he was feeling. He’s the one, weathering through the physical trials, but it’d hurt my heart, watching him suffer. I was really afraid, that he may end his own life, because he couldn’t, withstand the pains, it would’ve caused me to live in regret for the rest of my life.
My weight dropped sharply, due to the strains on my physiques and mind. My youngest son who works away worried I may not be able to stand it alone on my own, offered to quit his job to look after his dad, but, how can I allow it, for the sake of his future? After all, living far away, he can only come back to take care of his father on the weekends, and this was a burden that I needed to carry. With that sturdy mindset, and this voice within me saying, “I can’t fall, if I do, what will happen to my husband?”
What’s unimaginable was, I actually, weathered through it all, and, I’d thought, that if I’d had more children, then, at these moments I’d needed, there would’ve been, more hands to spare, and it needed not be the elderly, taking care of the elderly ill. During this long treatment process, the costs were really high. It’d made me realized, how important it would be, to save up all the money we possibly can, and being an elderly person, I’d worked hard exercising, eaten my balanced meals, look after myself well, so my children won’t have anything to worry about, that, is how I can love them right.
I’d told my children, “One day if I fall ill, and become immobilized, do send me into a nursing home, so I can live out the remains of my life without troubling you guys!”
And so, because this woman was tried by her husband’s falling ill, she’d decided, that she won’t put her kids through what she’d gone through with her husband, and that, is how this mother showed her love for her own children, and, caretaking of the ill isn’t anything easy that’s for sure!
Life, the Obstacle Course 