The Unspoken Rules

Standing up against the rules that damages your health, teaching her daughter to fight for her own rights, translated…

Mimi Chou sweat a lot on her feet, if she kept her feet stuffed in her shoes all day, the smells aren’t the biggest problems, in no more than eight hours, she’d usually started screaming of discomfort; and so even if it’s the winters, she’d still worn the sandals and not the sneakers. As she started elementary school, I’d discussed this problem with her instructor, we’d both agreed that sandals were the best shoes for her, plus Mimi grows at a very fast speed, once we’d bought her new shoes, and in three months, they were, way too small. And so, at the start of this year, when she needed new shoes, we’d found a pair without the straps on the back, from Birkenstock, without the straps on the back, to reduce the chances of the shoes getting torn up, and that it can greatly increase the time she can wear them (and let me mention, that by first grade, she already fitted in the smallest size for adults, and you can see the pace of her feet growth, along with the economic strains it may place on me).

After awhile, she’d asked me, “Mom, some other teachers told me, that the shoes without the straps are considered slippers, and we can’t wear those to school.” I’d told her, “Mom already discussed with the teacher, and we both believed, that having your feet exposed is the best way to keep them healthy; the other teachers didn’t understand the situation, that was why they’d made the comments!”

Mimi thought awhile and said, “That teacher was also wearing a pair of slippers, a lot of the teachers wear slippers around the office, so why are the adults allowed, and the children aren’t?” I’d added, “It’s not a matter of fair, wearing your pair of shoes, you’re not affecting anybody, and under these circumstances, the teachers should NOT have set the rules, like how you wear your hair, long or short, what you want to wear: pants or skirts, it should be all up to the individual to decide. Plus, not wearing this pair of shoes, you’re NOT affecting anybody else, instead, having you wear the sneakers, it’d impact your health, besides, buying shoes you won’t wear is a waste of money, we don’t have that much money to do that. Perhaps, the next time we go shopping for shoes, we can consider this, but this time, we wouldn’t go shopping for your new shoes because of this particular reason.”

She’d agreed with me, and continued wearing this pair to school, even now, as I’d inquired, “Do you want to wear the sneakers to school?”, she’d shaken her head no. But this semester, the pressures on her added, other teachers started nagging at her, “You can’t wear slippers to school”, even there were older children who’d made fun and called her, “Idiot girl” and “Slipper girl” too.

I got a bit furious, asked her, “Do we need to discuss this with your homeroom instructor?”, she’d turned me down, said, “It’s okay, they’re not in my class, my best friends don’t mind.” I’d told her, “you’re amazing, brave and strong, you hadn’t done a thing wrong in this matter, because no matter what shoes you’re wearing, it doesn’t affect anyone else, and nobody should have a say in what shoes you will wear.”

As the clothes bans were lifted, most of the schools worried about it being “hard to manage”, but the adults may need to stop and think: the reasons why the rules were set, it’s because there will always be those who break them; what you wear, is something personal, and if you wanted to intervene the matter with authorities, like without a certain set of rules, the kids will go stray. But, think about this from the other angle, if there’s no rules like these, how can the children break them?

So, this, is the discussion on standing UP to the authorities to do what is right for you! And sometimes, the authorities (whoever they may be???) will do whatever they can, to push you down, and if you let them, then, you’re the one who’s suffering, and so, this mom taught her daughter to stand UP for her rights, to do what is RIGHT for her own situation.