The overbearing parents, wanting their son to find a significant other, but sabotaged every woman he lets them meet, translated…
From before I had a steady girlfriend, A, although we had yet to talk about marriage, but our relationship was more than stable. She was submissive, cute, my type. And yet, my mother often warned me repeatedly, “I think she behaved herself too well, I’m afraid, that she lacked that competitive edge as she entered into the workforce.”
As she started working, A broke up with me, and, getting hurt made me stay away from love for a very long time. I’d started “squatting” at the age fitted for marriage, my parents were very worried, and right after one grilling of me, I’d finally told them that I’d met B, but, my parents hurriedly asked me, “Where did she go to school?” “What do her parents do?” “How much money does she make?”, and I’d felt like a prisoner, being interrogated.
Later, I met another woman, C, once she’d come home with me to pick up some things, and she’d greeted my parents. That very evening, I was again, interrogated by my parents, other than her schooling career, my mother also made a call, “She looked like she was limping” A week later, even my grandmother who’d not met her that day told me, “She can’t walk right.”
“I limped too”, I’d told my parents, and grandmother. C didn’t have any mobility issues, as we go out on dates, she can run, jump, can even, ride a bicycle too, and I was the one with the tilted spine and my legs are even lengths, and whether or not she wants to date me is still undecided. But my mother had lost sleep over it, until C told me she wanted out, and I was heartbroken, then, my mother became “normal” once more.
My parents noted how depressed I was, started matchmaking, “My coworker’s daughter D works at a bank, she might be too tall for you”, “E is an dentist, would you be afraid, that she’d make more money than you?” “F is very tentative to her elders, but she’s only a cashier at a wholesales mart.” “G, working in the bakery is nice, but you might think she’s a bit slow.”
Holy, I don’t even KNOW these women, I hadn’t even seen ANY of their photos yet, and all the fears of my elders, they’re NOT what I look at when I look at women I wanted to date. This reminded me of A and C, thank heavens they broke up with me. Or maybe, the two of them had been, witty enough, observed my families first, then, decided that it’s best, that they, split.
One evening, my mother came to me worried, told me that my not getting married worries her so. And I became infuriated, “Too behaved won’t do, too tall, no, earn a lot of money won’t work, the one who was a little crippled isn’t healthy enough…………whatever you say is fine by me then!” My mother was stunned for a bit, the repeated herself, “But I still worry a lot, I can’t help it, I just, worry…………”
And so, I’d turned the tone, consoled with her, “Yeah, I’d gone on those dating activities, and met about a dozen of them at a time”, and it seemed, that my mother became stressed she’d wanted to ask me something, but, something had, stopped her, perhaps, the number was too great, she’d not known where to start her inquiries, and told me, “You must, pick carefully, understand? Age is no longer on your side anymore………” I’d said to her, “Yeah, I know, there are so many older men who are single in China currently.” As she turned around to leave for her room, I could still hear her mumbling, “So long as your ages are not too separated.” OMG, how can I make you happy?
And so, no matter if it was A, B, C, D, E, F, or G, I can’t be in love with, I suppose. The habitual worries of my elders don’t really bother me, and all I can say is, before things change, I’d needed, to maintain my status of “meeting up with a dozen at a time”, my single status, because I’d found, that using this excuse, my elders would become silenced.
This, is HOW ANNOYING this is for this man, and for the REST of us, adult children who aren’t married yet, and, being married or not, it’s entire UP to US, kids to decide, so parents, BACK off already, and I’m sure, that if and WHEN your children marry, you’d be the first ones they tell, so stop being so overbearing already, huh???