Forgiving You for Betraying Me

Sometimes, it becomes, nearly impossible, to forgive our parents for the abuse and neglect we’d all weathered through, partially because, those god DAMN F***ING (feel free…) parents of ours still won’t admit what they did to us was abuse instead of love, and we may get stuck, waiting for that never-coming apology from them…

I can’t forgive you, for betraying me, I was your child for crying out loud, and, as if not loving me right wasn’t enough, you’d gone all the way, and had been, abusing me my whole life, and now, you’re asking me to, FORGIVE you? Why should I???

And yeah, I’d been there, and done that too. And yet, the more I’d held on to how I wanted to REVENGE, how I’d, wanted those who’d, RAPED (not physically still!) me to SUFFER for what they’d done to me, and, as day after day had slipped on by, and they’re still, living out their separate lives like nothing had ever happened, it’d, hurt me even more, then, I’d, let go, I’d, let myself off the hook, stopped, torturing ME, for something that wasn’t even my fault (‘cuz it’d never been my fault since BEFORE day one!), and just, allowed, everything to fall, to settle, where it settled.

The result was, I’d felt, much at ease, and, karma still became a BITCH! As his dead mama had, suffered long and hard, struggled, with her cancer, undergone CHEMO, lost ALL her hair, became so F***ING (maxed out???) ugly (‘cuz she’d always been ugly on the inside???), and how his almost DEAD father had called me up and cried, about the DEATH of his own wife, and I’d felt really annoyed, remember? Oh yeah!

And now, I’d stopped, letting anything that they had done, to get to me, and nothing they do will EVER, get to me, and this is a gradual process of desensitization that I’d undergone, it took me over twenty-seven FULL years to accomplish, and that would make me??? NO longer a TERRIBLE-TWO (god DAMN it!!!)………

And no, I still won’t forgive you, for betraying me, but, on the other hand, I’d, forgiven myself, for being betrayed by you, thus, I took MY life back again!!!

And that, is how I overcame ALL the hardships in my life, at the age of twenty-eight (that was when I was completely DONE with everything in the past, and ain’t never looked back since!!!).