From the caretaker’s manual, translated…
Due to osteoporosis, my mother had problems in her spinal columns, it’d taken the progressions of her illness a total of ten years, from the beginning, she could still walk on a walker, then, she’d started getting around in her wheelchair.
As she was still able to use her walker, her condition hadn’t quite worsened yet, I’d taken a half day’s leave of absence from work to take my mother to the doctors, and used the evenings, the weekends, for her to go to physical therapy, to take her to get her calcium shots, or to take her out on walks. The rehabilitation buses are hard to book, and there were many restrictions, and the home caretakers can only come to us twice every week, and, the times were limited, and so, we’d, given up on that. My mother’s spine worsened by the day, one day, she’d tripped and fallen down, and nobody was there to take care of her until I got home that evening.
a photograph of the writer with his mother, from UDN.com…
I was so scared, I’d immediately sold the apartment we lived in in the city, and bought a place in the countryside, and filed for a foreign nurse to look after my mother. After the move, my mother started planting in the gardens, and in the evenings, I’d taken her on strolls, socializing with the neighbors, she’d gotten her smiles back again, this, was the time when my work was smoothest and the days that were most settled, for I’d had a way to look after my own mother.
But, with my mother’s ailing physical condition, her multiple surgeries, and there were a ton of complications that came afterwards, because she had teeth problems, she couldn’t eat, and she’d choked on the food, and had pneumonia and was hospitalized several times, and, as the foreign nurses were on leave of vacation, or when we switched the nurse’s aides, I’d needed to take time away from work. As my mother came back home from the I.C.U., she’d started showing signs of dementia, it’d strained me completely, I’d filed for early retirement, and in these past two years, worked hard, and just, stayed by my mother’s side.
After the trials, I’m grateful to my mother for giving me the opportunity to allow me to be so close to her.
I want to share my thoughts, hoping it’ll help other caretakers:
- Psychological Preparedness: it’s very difficult, looking after one’s parents, you needed to be prepared for it mentally.
- Learn the Caretaking Skills: You would need the professional caretaking techniques looking after the elderly who are demented and became decapacitated, it’s best that you take courses offered on the matter.
- Do everything You Can: What you’d promised, no matter how hard, you should, work hard to fulfill, using heart to look after your parents, then, you won’t have any regrets.
- Make your parents happy: the children can’t take the trials of the parents’ lives away, at least, help them to be happier, as my mother went to live in the country, she’d gotten her old self back somewhat.
So, this is from a man’s point of view of looking after his own demented mother, and, as his mother’s health deteriorated, there would be more and more problems that surface in their lives, but, with his positive attitude of caretaking, there’s nothing that will cause him any trouble, besides, he’s spending time with his own mother, so after she’s gone, he won’t have any regrets for not being there for her.