This, is the blames, placed, on someone else’s child, because she isn’t your daughter! A Q&A, translated…
Q: Working Hard to Become Fertile, But Still Wasn’t Successful, My Mother-in-Law’s Grilling Me Broke My Heart…
Mrs. X wrote and told me of the assortment of pains and trials she’d undergone in attempting to get pregnant. They’d been married a little over three years, she was pregnant three times, but all ended in miscarriages, and as she’d gone to the geneticists, they’d told her something wasn’t right with her chromosomes, and she could only undergo the in vitro fertilizations, but it’d failed twice.
As she was just done with her second in vitro, her mother-in-law phoned her and demanded, “Why were the doctors only able to extract two to three eggs from your body each time?”, her mother-in-law KNEW of her chromosomal abnormality, and demanded an answer from her, she’d not even empathized her sense of sorrows for the failed in vitro. X cried and told her mother-in-law, “I’m sorry, it’s all my fault.” The mother-in-law seemed to be trying to make X plead guilty, she’d immediately attacked her, “And you’d blamed the doctors from before? It is, you who’s the problem!”
X knew her mother-in-law had asked her husband privately, but her husband was a straight shooter, and told everything to his mother, and as her mother-in-law felt stressed, she’d, grilled her, but she’d still felt hurt.
A My Advice:
There’s an idiom in Taiwanese, “If you’re destined to have a son, you would, but if not, then, it’s fate.” Meaning, that whether or not you have children, is already, predestined. Of course, from before, these sorts of things, we can only rely on the blessings of heavens above, there’s no way we can make the process faster. But now, modern day men can use the medical advances to treat the infertilities, but the reason for the infertility must also be taken into consideration. X should discuss with her husband, and asked him to NOT tell everything to his own mother, and have her husband empathize with X, and promise that if there’s good news, she’d be the first to know, that she need not worry. X’s husband should be kinder to X, to support and to console her more.
I hope that X can have a talk with the gynecologist, and understand the probability of being pregnant in her condition; at the same time, do consider, that if by being infertile, she’d become the sinner in her husband’s house, and, can she keep going in her marriage? Can X from here on out, be an infertile wife and daughter-in-law in her husband’s household?
So, this is the trials in this woman’s life, it’s not she’s not trying, it’s just, that it’s too hard for her, and maybe, it’s not written in her stars for her to have children, who knows, but because the mother-in-law was desperate to have a grandchild, that was why she’d taken her anger out on this woman, and, life will only get harder for this woman from here on out, because the problem is NOT her husband’s, it’s her systems that’s messed up, and so, life will be much, much more difficult for her…
Life, the Obstacle Course 