What’s in the Coffee???

How this student learned something, without the school principal teaching him anything, like in a classroom setting! Translated…

“Sir, sir!”

That day, I was invited to a seminar on childrearing, afterwards, a parent came up to me, said that his son was a student of mine, in his middle school, he’d defied him a lot, but slowly, he’d become, better. “Although I wouldn’t call him excellent, but he’s working hard, living his life, and treat us kindly.” I’d congratulated him, he’d said humbly, that the teacher had, helped his son turn his life around, then continued, “My son told me you’d treated him out to a cup of coffee, and everything after that about him was changed, he’d often spoken of the cup of coffee you’d, treated him to.”

black, and bitter…not my photo…

With the parent’s reminder, I’d recalled the young man clearly now. His son always looked bitter in my memories, but it didn’t feel like the pressures from going into high school at all, on that small face, other than the annoyances of his life, there, seemed to be, a lot of hate, a lot of displeasures with life itself. One day, he’d lost it in class, I was walking by, and I’d taken him into the offices. Seeing how his face was reddened, holding back his tears, I’d placed a box of tissue in front of him, “You can rest here, just cry if you want to cry then! Nobody is going to see you cry.”, after that, I’d left him alone.

About a minute later, I’d returned back to my office, his eyes were puffy, but he seemed to be calmer. I’d made a cup of black coffee for him from my espresso machines, “Don’t go back to class looking like that”, he’d nodded, said a light thank you, picked up the coffee, took a sip, blurted out, “So bitter!”

with the cream…not my photo still…

I’d handed him the sugar and the cream, “all the coffees that people hand to you are bitter, but how aromatic, how sweet you want it to be, you must make it so, understand?”

He seemed to have caught what I’m telling him without telling him straight on, he’d became stumped a bit, then, added in the sugar, and the milk for himself, then told me, that because he was the eldest son, his family put too much expectations on him, that his days were hell. I’d not given him any advice on that, just talked of how everybody has something that hurts them in life, and that all the pains we’re enduring, nobody can solve for us, that we are the ones, with the powers, the abilities, to do something about it. We’d gone from talking about coffee, to life, from how to change it from bitter, to sweet, I knew this kid understood me.

“Sir, what did you put in the coffee that day?”, the parent inquired.

I’d laughed aloud, “I didn’t put anything in it, he did!”

and now, the sugar…not my photo still…

So, this is an important lesson that this principal had taught to this student, he’d taught the student, a lesson, without standing in front of a chalkboard, with the chalk, and the sticks, he’d used the student’s experience to relate to him, and made the student understand, that he is the one, able to make a change in his own life, that nobody can make his life better, if he doesn’t have the drive to change first.