There’s that motivator for him to change, but, he kept on, repeating in the same cycles of his own misbehaviors, keeping his family hanging out to dry, translated…
It is midnight now, inside the solitary confinement cell of Ludao Prison, I’m tossing and turning, it wasn’t because of the humidity or the heat, nor the environment, I’d served here for six years now, already gotten used to living within these rules. I couldn’t sleep tonight, because of a hard-to-write letter. And up to this moment, I’d finally understood, that we live, not for ourselves, but for others.
I’m a Vietnamese migrant worker, came to Taiwan to make the money, to send it home to my families, to help my family out of living in poverty. Back then, I was, the sole economic support for my entire family, later on, as all the family’s debts slowly got paid up, I’d begun, feeling more relaxed, learned to drink, and took to the habits of gambling. Once I’d gotten drunk, and gotten into a physical altercation with someone, and, I’d killed the person I was fighting with.
On the day I was sent to prison, I wrote a letter to send back home to Vietnam, asked my families to not worry, that because I was a first-time offender, based off of the laws here, I’d only needed to serve half of the sentence I was given, I was sentenced to fourteen years, subtracting the two years I was in holding, there’s only five more left for me to serve.
Only four years, eleven months, twenty-nine days
Only four years, eleven months, twenty-eight days
Only four years, eleven months, twenty-seven days
…………
From the day I’d received the letters, the family would count the days until I can be up for parole, they’d often sent me money, to show their cares and concerns for me too. My eldest sister, my second eldest brother, and younger sister, all their wages combined for a month was only about $15,000N.T.s, but they’d put all their moneys together, and sent me $5,000N.T. every month. My eldest sister knew I cared about face a lot, that I wouldn’t ask for the handouts, and so, each and every time she wrote me she’d always asked if I had enough money, if not, they would think of ways, to send me more.
On this day, I’d received a letter from my younger sister, she’d told me gladly, “Third eldest, you know what, in six months, nineteen days, you will be eligible for parole, you must work hard to behave better, I miss you a lot.”
“Just see it as a dream, don’t think too much on it”, the letter also mentioned, “The girl you were in love with back in high school, Ching-Ching, she’d often asked us about you, she’s still not yet married! If you want to pursue her, then, you must come home soon!”
Six years, I’d been in prison for six whole years now, what my family had given to me, was indescribable with words, they’d expected me home every single day. But, how can they have imagined, that I’d gotten into fights in prison, and gotten another seven months added on as the assault charges, I’d done awfully, and, my parole was retracted already……how do I tell my loved ones? I’m truly regretful, why couldn’t I just, hold it all in? Day after day, I’d felt ashamed of myself, and missed my loved ones more and more.
I’m so far from home now, and I can only visit home in my dreams; when will I finally go home, to hold those I love in my arms again…
So, this, is the story of a man, who’d done something wrong, and he’s serving his time, paying his debt up to this society, and, despite how much encouragement his family members back home are giving him, he still can’t behave himself well enough, so he can make parole…