Belated Words of Praise

This, is what ALL daughters-in-law are, waiting for, from their, mothers-in-law, isn’t it???  Between a mother and a daughter-in-law, translated…

What made my mother happiest in her life, was hearing from my paternal grandmother, “You are, a more than fitting, wonderful, daughter-in-law!”

Back then, my mother met my father through the matchmakers, before they were married, they’d met a couple of times.  My father was handsome, works for the government, during that era, marrying a government worker means security for life, that, was why my mother agreed to this marriage in the first place.

Until my father’s troupes ushering my mother into his household arrived and stopped in front of a door made from sugarcane and cow dung, did my mother realize, that, she’d, gone from having everything material, into this life, of difficult times.  And, despite how reality didn’t comply with her ideals, my mother still did as she’d always had, bravely, took on the responsibilities of a future of doing the laundry loads in the streams, and chopping up the leftovers, to feed the livestock, along with other household work too.

After my mother had a couple of children, my maternal grandmother had always, given my paternal grandmother huge red envelopes, because she’d wanted her to buy something good for my mother, kidneys, and free range chickens, to help my mother get more nutrients into her systems.  But every time my paternal grandmother went to the marketplaces, she’d always, returned emptyhanded, she’d, pocketed ALL the money my maternal grandmother gave to her, to look after her daughter.  And, because my mother was, malnourished, the children couldn’t get enough breastmilk, and couldn’t stop crying.

After my father was able to get accepted in his application for dormitory housing, we’d moved out of that sugarcane house, and started living in a house paved with the cement, and bricks.  Later on, as my paternal grandmother had a stroke, and become immobilized, my father moved my paternal grandmother closer to our home to look after her.  My mother took care of my paternal grandmother, without a word of complaint, always made her favorite dishes, which she’d, banned us children, who are developing physically, to touch.  And, my paternal grandmother’s already fuller figure, became even more saturated as she had her stroke, watching how my mother was having a lot of troubles, flipping my grandmother around in bed, bathing her with great difficulties, my heart ached for her.

My mother took good care of my paternal grandmother, and yet, my grandmother never showed her an inkling of kindness.  We the children, felt bad for our mother’s sakes, but my mother always warned us, “Whatever we do, won’t escape the watchful eyes of heaven!”, and, right before my paternal grandmother passed away, she’d opened up her mouth, and spoken these words to my mother, “You really, ARE a fitting and a wonderful daughter-in-law”.  And that was, like the soap operas perfect ending for a daughter-in-law who’d been, tried by life.

From the moment I’d married, I’d, prayed that I would have a reasonable mother-in-law.  In the first few years, she and I got along wonderfully, even commended that I was more fitting, kinder to her, than her own children!  But in recent years, don’t know why, but my mother would, misinterpret my kindness toward her repeatedly, and it’d, hurt me a lot.  I couldn’t understand, that why, in this limited life, can’t people just, cherish one another?  My mother-in-law is already elderly, and, I’m more than certain, that as she was, torturing me, she was, being tortured herself as well.  I hope, that my mother-in-law and I will, soon, step outside of the schema of traditional mother-daughter-in-law script, and just, enjoy what happiness we come to share before us, and thus, not giving either one of us any regrets later on in life!

So, this, is a woman’s observations of how her mother and her paternal grandmother interacted with each other, and, she’d followed her mother’s example, worked hard, to become, a fitting daughter-in-law to her own mother-in-law too, and, it’d, worked great from before, but, as her mother-in-law became elderly, she may be demented, that, was why there’s, this personality change in her.