On motherhood, translated…
When I was growing up, I’d always felt enormous pressures on me, being the eldest child, not only was I supposed to let my younger sister have everything, I’d needed to help my parents look after her, and, I’d not done it, willingly at all. After I married and had two kids, I’d felt sorry for my eldest daughter who’d become very understanding—she’d only enjoyed being an only child for a little over a year, and I’d had a younger brother for her, it’d, scattered the cares and concerns of mom and dad from her.
And yet, as I’d remembered late in the nights, I’d realized that I was, once so cherished, as an only child of the family too. Back then, I was, the only child, the only baby, taking over all of their cares and concerns for me. Later, as I had a younger sister, and although it’d taken me some time to get used to, I’d slowly, discovered the perks of having siblings, life became busy and interesting.
And now, as my daughter is older, she would cling onto her grandparents, and, I’d gotten more time, to focus on my son. He’d always taken out a ton of his toys, his books, and shared them with me, with light in his eyes, he’d, introduced me to all the things he’d discovered on his own, he’d looked, very different from his usual self when he’d often gotten into arguments with my daughter. I was, shocked to realize, that he never got the opportunity, to BE an only child!
It’s a wonder I’d felt that my younger sister would fight with me a lot, she’d even cared about how I’d received my red envelopes for two more years, and would do things to fight for adults’ attention. Turns out, that being the second born child, is something that firstborns don’t really, quite understand.
As I’d become a mother, I’d spent more time on “spending quality time with the kids”. Especially when I have one-on-one time with my daughter and my son separately, I’d focused on them wholeheartedly, hoping that I can give them that strong sense of security. As my friends asked me, “Having two children, which one do you love more?”, I’d replied without any thought, “I’d loved them both equally, and when they misbehaved, I’d, disciplined them equally harsh too!”
I’d dreamed about having children from before I married, and hoped, that my older child would be a daughter, thank heavens, for making my wish come true. I’m taking care of my precious babies full time, and the trials are doubled naturally, but, the fulfillment, the bliss, doubled as well.
the attention given to an only child…not my photo
So, this, is how a mother treats her two children with two different temperaments equally, but differently, because children ARE unique, they have different likes and dislikes, and, just because you bought a toy for one of your children, that still doesn’t mean that you have to buy the exact same thing for your other children to be fair, kids are unique, and they have different temperaments, and, educating them should be about which ways benefitted each one of them more, and just use that.