This woman’s personality traits ARE responsible for the way her life turns out here, translated…
If I can, I really liked to persuade my mother to get hospitalized.
My mother is simple in her character, but because of how straightforward she is, she’d insulted people around her. From the start, my grandmother blamed her for not giving birth to a son, she’d worked hard in reproducing, thankfully, by the third pregnancy, she was pregnant with a boy. It’s just, that because of how little money we had, when my youngest brother wasn’t even two yet, she’d started working, and so, ever since, she’d felt, that she’d, owed my youngest brother.
Even if my youngest brother didn’t have my mother accompanying him, he’d had my maternal grandmother around the clock, looking after him, and, all of our paces had moved forward with the wheels of time, but my mother’s stuck, in my youngest brother’s childhood days. She’s retired now, and wanted to shower him now, with ALL the attention she wasn’t able to give to him when he was younger; and so, toward a man in his thirties, she’d still used her way of watching over a kid in the elementary years. Demanded that he must cut his hair a certain way, how he shouldn’t ride his motorcycle above 30K/hour, how he can’t stay up past eleven at night, drink more water regularly, have more fruits, go to the bathrooms regularly every day………all of these demands, had they come from my youngest brother’s girlfriends, he wouldn’t have followed, let alone, as it came from, his nagging mother.
the mother who’d manage to isolate herself…illustration from the newspapers online…
This sort of a pressing maternal love wasn’t accepted by my youngest brother, it’d even, pushed him to go live with my father with whom my mother was separated from. And my mother turned her attention to others, blamed her husband for coming between her and her son, blamed her daughters, for not persuading the youngest brother enough, that we’d not shown an inkling of sibling closeness; blamed how my maternal grandmother who lived alone failed to pay enough attention to my youngest brother, my aunts who lived close by, for not showing enough care or concern toward their nephew. And after awhile, everybody around her, can’t wait to get away from her.
After my father moved out, my sister and I married off, my mother’s focus landed on the television and my youngest brother. She’d stopped cleaning up the house, and our old home became like a recycle yard, and, as we’d lifted the hoarded materials up, we can see, the troops of roaches. I’d once believed, that my mother didn’t have the heart, or the energies to keep the house tidy, but as we’d started sorting through the items lying around, she’d, scolded me.
Later on, we did somene research, and understood, that my mother lacked that sense of security, she couldn’t keep her marriage or the relationship with her son, that was why she’d, started hoarding, to gain control; at the same time, in order to prove that she was different from her husband who’s spent listlessly, she couldn’t, throw things away easily.
We’d once, coaxed my mother to the psychiatrist’s office, and although the psychiatrist diagnosed her with mild bipolar, but he couldn’t prescribe her the meds, because the treatment builds on the willingness of the client, and seeing how my mother started screaming at the clinic, that she didn’t need any treatment, that we’re the ones who were psychos, we’d felt that strong sense of helplessness.
My aunt once told me, she couldn’t understand WHY I’d needed to care about my mother’s behaviors and words, that my mother who’d become, totally detached from the world outside, her emotional words should be, wind through my ears. But my aunt failed to understand, that as her eldest, I can’t bear to watch my mother suffer in marriage, how sad she’d become, being misunderstood by her birth and adoptive mother. The one who’d looked after me wholeheartedly was my mother, the one who’d hurt me the deepest, also my mother.
As a daughter who’s been disliked my mother, how am I at a place, to convince her, that she’d needed treatment?
So, the problem in this elderly woman’s life is solely caused by her, this older woman lacked that sense of security, and so, she tried to hold onto what she could, in the end, she can’t hold on to those in her family, so she’d started, hoarding, and if this elderly woman doesn’t realize this tendency about herself, then, nobody can help her, even IF her daughters wanted to!
Life, the Obstacle Course 